A Day in the life of a Cisco-ite
Introduction: This is a short humorous skit depicting the life of a Cisco-ite from the time of his joining to the time he decides for better opportunities. All Names/Situations are fictional and resemblance is coincidence.
Protagonist: Raj (Male/30)
HR: Bipasha Mirza (Female/26)
US: Tom ( Male/40)
Wife: Wife (Female/28)
Receptionist: (Female/22)
Fruits Seller: (Male/24)
Security Office: (Male/30)
Disclaimer: (Akash Vani)
Scene 1:
Raj works in a company by the name of “Jupiter”. In this scene, he is shown sitting on his desk and scratching his hair trying to fix a problem. (Props: Banner displaying Jupiter as the company name behind where Raj is sitting). His cell phone rings. (Props: Annoying ringtone.) Raj looks irritatingly at the cell phone as it is an unknown caller.
He answers the phone in a stern voice.
Raj: “Hello.Raj from Jupiter.”
Lady: “Hi Raj.How are you doing today?”
Raj (thinking it is a call from Credit Card agency shouts): “Madam, I have told you that I have ICICI credit card and I do not need any more cards but why are you calling repeatedly again and again?”
Lady: “Actually I am not calling from ICICI. I am calling from CISCO”.
Raj(Before the lady could finish her statement cuts her with his words): “When did CISCO start making credit cards?”
Lady(Chuckles): “Raj, I am Bipasha Mirza calling from CISCO. I am HR with CISCO and I found your resume on naukri.com and your profile fits one of the open positions and we would like to have a short interview with you.”
Raj(excitement in his voice): “CISCO.Cool. Yeah, I am interested Bipasha.”
Bipasha: “When would you like to take the call Raj?”
Raj: “Actually I am free now. I can take the call right now.” Turns around and shuts down his laptop which he was working on as soon as heard Cisco is interested in talking to him.
Bipasha: “ That’s great Raj. There is one little problem here Raj.”
Raj: “No problem with the problem. And that too a little one? Phew!”
Bipasha: “ Actually Cisco has a policy of 5 people interviewing you. But the good part is – it will be telephonic”.
Raj: “Telephonic! That’s cool. I like telephonic interviews. Don’t ask me why. So what is the little problem?”
Bipasha: “ Interview panel is spread across the globe. 2 people from US and 2 people from Hong Kong will be calling.”
Raj(Quite confused with all the time zones): “Hmmm! Ok.Not a problem at all.”
Bipasha: “So can I confirm it then?”
Raj: “You Bet!”
Scene 2:
Raj is shown holding a thick CCIE (props) book and his cell phone in hand moving from one corner to another in a tense mood. Cell Phone rings and he picks it up immediately seeing the calling number is from
Raj: “Hello. This is Raj speaking. Are you from US Cisco?”
US: “ Hello Raj. How are you doing?”
Raj: “Hello, can you speak louder. I cannot hear you properly. I am hearing a echo.”
US:” I am Tom calling from Cisco.”
Raj ( with lot of eagerness in voice): “ Hi Tom. I am Raj. I have 8 years of experience in networking domain and I am currently working for Jupiter. I am a business minded professional looking for a challenging position in your great company. Most of my life I have been watching Cisco stocks and I have great respect for your company.” He rants on and on. No need of dialogues here. Just lip movement would be sufficient.
Foreigner: “Hey that’s ok! I will ask you a simple question. What is MPLS?”
Raj: “Hello, Hello…bzzz..too much static” and in the meanwhile is shown turning the pages around and finding the answer.
Raj:” Multi Protocol Label Switching”
US: “ Whew Raj. Thanks. That was great. Nice talking to you.Bye”
Similarly, in a fast cut – phone is shown ringing 3-4 times and in one instance Raj is shown turning the pages of CCIE and answering the questions (no voice here also) and cheering himself on when he got the correct answer.
After all these calls, another phone rings. Raj looks at the number murmuring to himself
Raj:”An unknown number again. Maybe from Cisco.”
He picks up the phone and a lady voice is heard
Lady: “ Hi Raj.”
Raj(Doesn’t listen to any more words of the lady. Thinks it is a call from Cisco again and starts off): “Hi. . I am Raj. I have 8 years of experience in networking domain and I am currently working for Jupiter. I am a business minded professional looking for a challenging position in your great company. Most of my life I have been watching Cisco stocks and I have great respect for your company.”
Lady
Raj: “ Neena. I thought it was someone from Cisco again. Honey, I think I got the job in Cisco.”
Wife: “Hey that’s great. Cisco is so near to our house. You can come home early unlike
Scene 3:
Props needed: Cisco board, security guard cap, empty slate, digital camera
Raj(with blown apart hair) : “Hello Officer, I am a new joiner. I want my badge done.”
Security(taking the empty slate):” What is your Employee ID?” and writes on the slate.Pushes Raj on to the wall and puts the slate in Raj’s hand and picks his camera. Raj is seen trying adjust his shirt and hair but the Security officer clicks the picture anyways.
Raj:”But Raj, my hair was not right. Can you please retake the picture.”
Security: “No problem gentleman. It has come really good. Welcome to Cisco.”
“Well, you know – this badge works everywhere in the world. This badge is your passage to the world.’
Again he starts handing the badge to Raj but takes it back again. All along, Raj is staring at the badge and giving an expression that if he gets the badge, he will just run away as he is bored listening to the Security office talk.
Security: “Gentleman, if you loose the badge, even if it is 2 AM – do not hesitate to call me. If you don’t get me, do not hesitate to talk to my wife.Here you go. Welcome to Cisco World. Good Bye”.
Secuirty: “Currently, we have run short of blank badges. As a result of this, we are unable to print badges for the new hires joined in past one week.We have ordered for a stock from US and the same has been shipped to Sydney yesterday. Once it arrives to
Raj returns with a temp badge!
Raj is shown as grabbing the badge and running away!
Scene 4:
Props Needed: NEO board, 3 Cisco caps.
Raj attends his New Employee Orientation. HR Bipasha Mirza is the person who is giving presentation. Raj is shown all attentive and eager.
Bipasha: “ Hello all you Cisco-ites. Great to see you all in here. We will be having this NEO for 2 days and we will take care of you really nice in this NEO.”
Raj(lifting his hand): “ Will lunch be served?”
Bipasha(initially showing interest to answer his query): “Yes, of course. We have Ice Cream too.”
Bipasha:” First we will start off with history of Cisco. Cisco recently completed 20 years in existence and we are proud..”
Raj(Interrupts Bipasha): “ When do we get stocks?”
Bipasha:”Finance will answer that question.”
Bipasha:”continuing where I left, we are proud of Cisco and we do take good benefits for the employees…”
Raj(interrupts again): “Are parents covered in the Medical Insurance?”
Bipasha(showing obvious irritation)”Raj, that will be covered in the benefits section.”
Bipasha:”Ok, now we will have a guest lecture who has filed patents and done some real great pioneering work.”
Raj:”How much money Is paid for filing patents and are they taxable?”
Bipasha(fully irritated):” I think that is the end of the NEO. Hope you all had good responses to your queries. If you have any questions, check it in our CEC else open a HRC but not on a PTO.”
Raj(confused with all abbrevations):” Great. That’s it? Where are the freebies? Can I have 3 Cisco caps please. One for my me, One for the wife and One for the little boy who lives in my house.”
Bipasha: OK!
Bipasha: Ok, all of you, please wait. We are having a photo session now. Can you all stand here. “
All of them Stand and Pose for the pic! Bips takes the camera and then says
Bips: “Hey, even I want to be in the picture.Raj,can you please come and take the picture?”
Raj: “Why are you asking me to go out? I also want to be in the picture.”
Bipasha(embarrassed): Raj, we want only photogenic people in the picture.Not all. This is for the AMAZING PEOPLE portfolio.”
Raj goes and clicks the picture!
Scene 5:
Props Needed: Nothing
Raj’s first day at the office. He meets his mentor Aryan.
Aryan:”Hi Raj. I am your mentor. Welcome to Cisco.”
Raj:”Thank you. How long have you been with Cisco?”
Aryan:”Close to 10 years. I was with Cisco during the good days i.e. Dot Com boom”
Raj:”Then you must have made good money. Eshtu eli Raj”
Aryan:”We shouldn’t be discussing that.Ok, here is your laptop,IP Phone, Mobile Phone. We @ Cisco believe in Work From Home Culture and also healthy Fridays. On Fridays, we get fresh fruits and juices – On the house. Well, seeya around. If you have any questions – do let me know.But do ping me before u come to me.”
Scene 6:
Props Needed: Plastic Cover, Fruits,Juices, Board of “Fruits Vendor”
Raj shown working on his laptop acting in a pensive mood. He is looking at the watch and then his laptop. After couple of seconds, he walks down to meet the receptionist.
Raj:”Hello Reception!”
Tabu:” Hi Raj. It is Tabu here.”
Raj(Anger in his voice):”Hello! Tabu Khan. Do you know which day is today?”
Receptionist( pleasantly): “It is Friday.Why Raj?”
Raj:”It is already 3 PM and I still did not get the email regarding the fruits. Where are the fruits? Can you please personally call me and let me know when they arrive?”
Receptionist:”Ok Raj. I see them coming. They should be in the cafeteria in 2 minutes.”
Raj goes back to his seat and opens his drawer and grabs a plastic cover and runs.
Big basket with fruits is kept. Raj is the first to arrive. He grabs a dozen apples and stuffs them in his plastic bag all the while glancing around if no one is watching him. He goes and grabs another dozen juice packs and quickly steps away with a huge satisfied grin on his face.
“
He is shown leaving the Cisco office and rushing out towards a fruits seller.
Vendor:”Namaskar Sir, heli enu beku?Ooty Apple ide. ”
Raj:”I wanted to sell some fruits to you instead. You can just pay me half price for these. Deal?”
Vendor(Happily):”En Sir! Laxmi ge financeaaa! Hannu Maronige Hannu Martiraa!”
Raj : « Adjust madkoli ! «
Vendor:”Ela yuvna! Beligge Beligge yaara mukha nodino eno gotilla.Olle giraki”
Vendor hands over the money and says “Dina Barthairi!”.
Scene 7:
Props Needed: Board of HOME
Raj is initially shown leaning on his laptop in a drowsy mood. Then he dozes couple of times. He gets up and sits on his couch and sleeps off. We can hear him snoring. His phone rings loudly and it is his manager.
Manager:”Hi Raj, where are you? I just came to your seat and I did not find you.”
Raj: “ I am actually working from Home Manager. Working real hard.”
Manager:”Hmm, that’s good.Just go early to the office as Tom from
Raj: “ You don’t worry of that manager. All taken care of.”
Voice: Next day morning, Raj is all ready and dressed to the occasion. He comes and meets Tom from Sanjose.Raj is in a blazer while Tom comes in Shorts.
Raj:”Hi Tom. Remember me. You took my interview. You did not ask me any questions. Why is that?”
Tom(apparently embarrassed): “ Hi Raj. Nice to meet you. I have come for 2 day visit to
Raj:”Tom, forget everything. You are in
Tom:”But Raj, I have come here for work and not on vacation.”
Raj:”
Tom:” But..”
Raj(Holds Tom’s hand):”Tom, also I will take you to Cauvery Emporium and you can buy Elephants and saree for your wife.”
Tom:”But I am not married .”
Raj:”That’s ok. You can give it to your kids. Thanksgiving is near anyways.”
Tom is lost. He puts up his arms and both walk away.
Tom “ I am not getting work done here after all this shopping and eating. Why don’t you come to US to meet us Raj?“
Raj: “ US? Where in
Scene 9:
Raj is shown packing for his trip to
Raj: “Yeah man. I am all set and excited.”
Friend: “But what is this PRESSURE COOKER doing in your luggage?”
Raj: “Oh, that’s CISCO Frugality.”
Phone rings. It is Tom on the line.
“Raj, our General Manager has asked for Travel Restrictions. So please cancel your trip. Ok!”
Raj is visibly upset with this news.
Scene 8:
Raj’s cell phone rings again. He recognizes the caller as HR Bipasha and takes the call
Bipasha:”Hi Raj, how are you? Are you looking for a change in job? I have a great opening in my company”
Raj:”Hey Bipasha, pulling my leg – is it? I already work for your Company Cisco”.
Bipasha”Oh, you did not see my resignation email. I sent it to CISCO-ALL and I received so many good bye emails also. Maybe you missed.
Bipasha” I have joined
Raj(puzzled):”But why? Everything was so good at Cisco? “
Bipasha:”Well, In HAWAII we get more onsite opportunities and also we get Beer on Friday afternoons unlike juice.”
Raj:”Is it? Hey, can I come too. But they give Stocks right”
Bipasha: “ Of Course!”.
Raj:“I will send my resume immediately. Thanks and Bye”
Scene 9:
Raj resigns from Cisco, packs his bag in a cover and starts going out. Security guard comes running and starts searching his bag. Raj snatches his cover and questions the guard
Raj:”Hey, I am not a terrorist. I don’t have any bombs. Why are you searching me like this?”
Security: “Raj, I am not searching for bombs. I am searching for Fruits because we got a complaint that people are taking fruits home.”
End Scene: All
Akash Vani comes on to the stage and rest of us are all standing with all who played Raj in one corner. She does brief introductions of each of us. When she finishes, she stands in the centre. All of us walk near to the mike, point to the crowd and say out Aloud
“WE KNOW THERE IS NO RAJ IN YOU!”
1 comment:
nice nice !!!
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