Enterprising Day OUT

[Intro: This skit is purely FICTIONAL and any resemblance to any characters or situations in REAL life is NOT coincidental. This should NOT have any bearing on the ePM of all the people who wrote this, enacted this, saw this, laughed at it or hated it.]

[SADI makes announcement.]

[Background MP3 song; Sholay: Yeh Dosti, hum nahin chodenge….] – SADI Collects MP3.

2 guys, arms on each others shoulders enter dancing and come to a stop.

MBG – Madhu

AM - Manju

MBG: “ Hey Chote Miyaan. How are things? How is it going in Bangalore?”

AM: “ Very Good Bade Miyaan! Not bad at all. Ek cheez mujhe tang kar rahi hai.”

MBG: “Well you know. Lets understand Cisco is all about OPEN communication. Please Go ahead. Speak it out.”

AM:”Yeah right. True. I can sense our team is too much stressed out and we should all go out for an outing. What do you think Bade Miyaan?”

MBG” You know Chote Miyaan, that is a VERY good idea. Let us implement it.Please go ahead and send out a BINGO survey to the team to know who are all interested and who are interested to come on weekends”

AM: “ Yeah, I will do that Bade Miyaan. Chalo, have fun! Bye”

MBG: “Cheers Man. BBye.

[Karuna Bansal]

AM-Chote Miyaan looks at his watch. 11:30 AM. He walks over to Miss Pity’s cube. She is still not there. Murmuring to himself

“ Where is Miss Pity. Its 11:30 and she is still not in the office. I have to give her some work on the team day outing. Let me give her a call.”

He picks up the phone and Miss Pity picks up the phone.

AM:”Hello Miss Pity. Wakey Wakey! Its mid morning already.”

Miss Pity stifling a yawn, “Oh, yeah. I was in this migration. It kept me awake all night. Yeah manager, what is it?”

AM: “I want you to send a survey out to the team on team outing and I have sent an email with the questions.Just create a BINGO who is interested to come for the Outing and also on the weekend.”

Miss Pity:”Okay!” (In typical Karuna ishtyle)

Miss Pity Sends out a survey to the team and has the results ready!

Miss Pity” I sent the survey Manager. It looks like DCN team is 100% COMPLIANT. ONM is 62% only. Also, ONM team doesn’t want to come on weekends.”

AM:” What is this with the DCN team yaar! They are always 100% compliant even for time sheets and now for even this. Why isn’t ONM team like this?”

Miss Pity:” Manager, DCN team has hired 2 project managers who overlook the Compliance part. We should also have Project Managers in ONM.”

AM:”Theek Hai – Theek Hai. Anyways, prepare a presentation which says TEAM outing is Mandatory for the whole team and no questions of weekdays only.”

Miss Pity: “ But Manager, why did we send out a survey to the team to check if they were available on weekend if it was a forgone conclusion.”

AM: Giving a Big GRIN. Miss Pity also smiles off and walks out.

[Rajesh Kalapurakkal]

CM & BM again.[Sadi makes the announcement]

MBG:” manager, there is this guy in the team MENTOS. What is he doing man? SCE or something like that.”

AM:”Oh that guy BM. Yeah, he is very silent and keeps working. Not sure what he is working on.”

MBG:”Manager, We should check with our BIG BROTHER if we really support the stuff on what he is doing?”

AM:”Yeah.But Manager his Realization numbers are good. Why fix on something which is not broken. Let him continue doing what he is doing. That’s what I learnt in my business school.”

MBG:”But you know MENTOS is a Fantastic mentor. All the “freshers” love him. There are 2 more freshers coming this July to the team. We should notify MENTOS.”

AM:”There he is.Mr.Mentos, can you please come over?”

Mentos:”Hello.”

AM:”there are 2 new joinees coming in July. Please come to office daily as you would have to mentor them.”

Mentos:” Ok. I am traveling a lot now a days. When I am in the country, I will come but I cannot stay back after 5 BM. I am newly married you know.”

AM: “Newly Married? I thought you were married long time back?”

Mentos: “Yes but we are still new. ;-) If you want, I have a nice solution. I will use telepresence to mentor the new hires after 5 PM.”

AM: “Brilliant. GSP is all about SOLUTIONS.Thanks”.

AM: “Yeah yeah, no problem. No problem.”

Chote Miyaan has an important announcement to make - SADI

[Madhukar]

AM:”Team, myself and Manager are going to Dubai to meet with rest of the ONM team. So we will not be available for 2 weeks. In our absence, please talk to mdada (Madhu Kar).Ok Bye.”

From now on Mdada takes over as the acting manager. - SADIs

Mdada is busy working on multiple things. Shahenshah work (LCS, night shift, Jaagte Raho – sun saan song), AINA work, SmS work. (Jodhaa Akbar song)

Phone rings. Mdada picks up the phone.

Mr.Mdada” Hello, JaagteRaho Services. How can I help you?”

Anthony:”Hello Mdada. This is Anthony here.How are you? I have a project for you in ISC. Just wanted to check if you folks can service it?”

Mdada: “Yeh Anthony Kaun Hai”

Mdada:” ISC? Do you want to integrate it with AINA or you want ISC to sit on top of AINA.”

Anthony (confused):” No, I am not talking about INNA shalin. I am talking about ISC product.”

Mdada:”yeah, I know Inna Shalin. She was the one who gave us AINA training.”

Anthony:”Ok, when can we expect the resource?”

Mdada:” Anthony, you will have to fill up JIRA. Then if it qualifies as an SmS opportunity, then you will have to send a SMS to my phone.If the SMS is between 3 AM to 5 AM, my mom will answer. I was part of quality initiative. We have to follow processes right.”

Anthony” That’s cool. We in the global practice don’t have any process. You guys are way ahead of us. Really nice working with you folks.”

[Suresh Chaurasiya] - SADI

Song plays “Mumbai se aaya mera dost, dost ko salaam karo.” Sadi gets the MP3.

Mr.Solution” Hello Mr.Mdada. I am Mr.Solution from Mumbai.”

Mdada:”Hey Solution. How are you doing man? Nice meeting you.”

Mr.Solution”After doing Jaagte Raho Services for 3 years, I am little tired Mdada. I want to change my profile. I want to work on solutions.”

Mdada:” Hey Solution, work on it for couple of more years man. Then when you gain sufficient knowledge you will grow up the value chain automatically.”

Mr.Solution: “No Mdada. Every thing is fine except for the night shift.”

Mdada:” See I am requesting you now. If you don’t listen, I will call Raj Thackeray and ask him to talk to you. Jai Maharashtra!”

[Saurabh Dawra] - Manju

Mr.Quality Champ: “ Hello Mdada. Its me Quality Champ again in Bangalore”.

Mr.Mdada:” Man, you were here just last week. You are here again so soon. That’s a lot of travel.”

Mr.Quality chuckling” Huh! I think I am the most traveled guy in this team. But man, traveling in this company is boring man. In Ericsson , we were traveling in Business class”

Mr.Mdada “Hmmmmm!”

Quality Champ:” Also, I saw this mail from Miss Pity on team outing. Why are we having it in Bangalore man. In Ericsson we used to have in Thailand or Bangladesh.”

Mr.Mdada” Hmmmmmm!”

Quality Champ:” Also, in my Cisco Delhi office, the coffee is so bad. I stopped drinking it. In Ericsson, we used to get excellent coffee served at the desk.”

Mr.Mdada” Hmmmmm. Mr.Quality Champ. First thing is – you no longer work for Ericsson and also, you were supposed to relocate to Bangalore right? When are you relocating?”

Quality Champ walking off singing this song in OSO style:” Dil Me mere hai Cisco Cisco. I love Cisco. I love Cisco.”

[Dharmesh Shah] - SADI

TE: “ Hello Friends, Romans and Countrymen. I am Mr.Traffic Engineer.”

Mdada:” Hey hello. Long time no see. How are you?”

TE:” I was busy talking to VSNL folks , opening BUGS and the DEs.”

Mdada” Very good! You are doing a great job.”

TE:” Thanks. Lets go for coffee?”

Mdada:”Lets go”.

Mdada sits and starts drinking coffee. TE doesn’t sit.

Mdada: “Sit down man. Sit and drink coffee”

TE:”No man, I cant sit. I sit only in the morning.I cant sit for long time. I don’t like to sit. Infact, when I was flying down from Mumbai, I stood in the plane as well. In fact, I was just thinking , they should have a standing zone in the airplane. And probably price should be half that of Economy. Isnt it a good idea? I should post it in Wiki page productivity charter for our Big Brother”

Mdada: “ Brilliant idea TE. You should patent it. Doesn’t your MBO have a patent idea to be filed clause? I think you should do it.”

[Aditya Gupta]

Mdada:” Hello Mr.Meeting Place. How are you? You are awesome man. You organize stuff so nicely. Big credit to you. Good job. At this rate, you will replace all the managers in GSP.Why aren’t you working on more and more technical projects man. Go out and travel. This is your age!”

Meeting Place:”Thanks Mdada. I love to do that. But I am scared of travel man.”

Mdada:” Scared of travel. Hahaha, that’s a funny thing. You are an NCE. You should be ready to travel anyday anytime. Airsickness?”

Meeting place: “ No, nothing of that sort. I am scared of the iExpense folks. All my claims are rejected by them. Even my dinner bills are getting rejected. The only way to escape from this is NOT to TRAVEL. And I love SmS. So its ok for now.”

Mdada: “ Don’t worry man. Once Synergy comes, all our troubles will be gone. Trust me.”

Meeting Place:” How?”

Mdada:” Even I don’t know man. Everyone talks about it here and so do i.”

Scene shifts to Dubai.

[DON & Senthil]DON old MP3 song – Are Deewano

Manju & SADI

Gangster:” Hey Mr.Tension. I heard BM & CM are coming to visit us.”

Mr.Tension:”Hey Gangster. I am all tensed man about them coming.”

Gangster: “ Lets take them Asha’s restaurant in Dubai and show them around.”

Tension: “ you know, I feel so tensed in front of them. I don’t know if I can eat properly.”

Gangster:” Why are you so tensed man. You are excelling in your work. You are giving 127% realization.”

Tension:” That is the problem. I am tensed. Now with this excellent work, they will ask me to go to Azerbaijan. I don’t want to go there man. Heard its more dangerous than Nigeria. Dictators and all. I will try to escape but they will catch you to do that project if I say no. Is it ok.”

Gangster: “hahahaha. They cant catch me man.”

Tension:” Why ? “

Gangster” Don ko pakadana Mushkil hi nahin, na mumkeen hai.”

[Song playing of the new DON]

Senthil asks Madhu: Y r u playing this new song?”

BM & CM have come back from Dubai! Its back to SA.CM is trying to contact his new HERO who is in Venezuela.

[Aditya S] - Manju

CM:” hey Wiki. How are you man?”

Wiki:”I am doing good. How are you?”

CM:” Where are you wiki?”

Wiki:”Hey, I am in Silicon Valley man. Live, Work and Play. Doing the Cisco tag line full time.”

CM:” You are still in Venezuela?”

Wiki” Si Amigo!”

CM:” But Who is the customer?”

Wiki” Who else? Movilnet. Why all these questions Manager?”

CM: “ Dude, Movilnet project is long over. We have received signoff, CSAT, money also long time back. Wind up and come back ok.”

Wiki:” Oh is it? Oooops, ok – I forgot. I am developing a wiki page for the customer. They loved ONM wiki page so much that they asked me to stay back to develop wiki page for them.”

Manager:” No, you cant do that Wiki. You have to come back.”

Wiki:” I am expecting a Venezuelan cap from them. I will come once I get that. You guys never give me an Indian cap anyways.”

[Madhu M]

Madhu & Manju

Fresher:” HR, my emotions are taking over my work. Not able to work.”

HR: “Why Mr.fresher?”

Fresher:” Coz all you folks call me Fresher. I don’t like being called Fresher. I have completed almost 2 years of my career and people still call me Fresher.”

HR:” Hmmmm. You know what? Fresher is a compliment. When you walk into the team meeting, you are like a whiff of fresh air. When stale folks write the same old LLDs, your LLDs bring freshness to the customer. There is so much of freshness embedded in you that it is natural for the team to tell you fresh. “

Fresher:” Oh yeah, I never thought of that. I am Fresh. Fresh…..”

Fresher walks off in a zombie state murmuring to himself.

HR to himself: “Hahaha, isn’t being HR a fun?”

[Archana Akhaury]

Madhu & Sadi.

MBG gets acknowledgements from all the team to the outing. Except the LADY ANA. He is furious and curious to know the reason.

MBG:” Hello LADY ANA, you know I am your manager speaking. The idea here is to make yourself available for the team outing on March 26^th. It will be good to have everyone.”

LADY ANA:” No Manager, I cant make it that day. My delivery dates are during that time.”

MBG:” What delivery dates?if you remember I sent out a PPT sometime back itself to talk to your Project Managers and inform them that we wont deliver any project during that time. The point is Please tell the Project Manager that you cant deliver the LLD on that day.”

LADY:”But Manager, I am talking of Delivery of my baby and not the LLD.”

MBG:”Oooops., i totally forgot. I am sorry. Yeah you are excused. But you know We will miss you. All the best. Have a nice time with your kid. Its fun watching Kids GROW. Hey, btw – we @ GSP have stopped Growing. I mean, I have asked the team not fill in GROW!”

Cafe Of Dreams - Short Film

Café Of Dreams

[Location: A dimly lit café. Corner of a room. Round table. 2 chairs. ]

Scene 1: The camera is focused on a pair of closed eyes (5 to 10 seconds).Suddenly he opens his eyes. (Talk in his mind going on about his past bickering with some clear words like “Crap”, “No” and more negative words.)

Camera Angle: Straight

Scene 2: One person is sitting on a chair; there is a round table in front of the chair. This setup is in a dark corner of the room. The person rubs his eyes, yawns and speaks to himself ‘Where the hell am I?’ (dialogue coming from his mind – voice over). Expression: Mix of Wonder & Irritated

Then he looks on the table and sees something and picks that thing up. It’s a Menu card. (15 to 20 seconds)

Camera Angle: Right Side Under the table 45 Degrees

Scene 3: Camera focuses on the Menu Card on which the name of the movie is printed in Algerian Font – “Café Of Dreams” (Focus it for 4 seconds)

Camera Angle: Right Side Under the table 45 Degrees

Scene 4: The camera will replace the card. He will look at the camera and will pretend that he is reading the screen. He is reading it out loudly

‘Café of dreams!! We only serve full seven course meal!! What a crap’.

Camera Angle: Should be exactly in the place of Menu Card which our main protagonist is reading.

Menu Reads like this:

1. Peace

2. Success

3. Glory

4. Happiness

5. Satisfaction

6. Power

7. Love

A background female voice of the waitress asks “Are You ok Sir?”

Camera first moves focus from the man to the waitress.

He looks up. Camera shifts to waitress face. She gives a courteous smile and repeats the question “Is everything all right sir?”

Camera moves back to the man.

Man says with a puzzled look on his face “ Who are you?”

Camera moves back to the waitress.

The waitress with a normal waitress look replies “I am Desire. Your order is on the way?”

Camera moves back to the man from behind the waitress.

Man: “Order? Have I already ordered?”

Waitress: She nods her head.

Man with Wonder” “What did I Order?”

Camera focuses on her face.

Waitress: “A complete Seven course meal. You ordered LOVE as a starter.”

Man with a quirk smile: “Love? Is it that hypothetical word which doesn’t exist in

reality?”

Waitress: “No. It is the quintessence of your emotions.”

Man still not convinced: “That’s a nice way of putting it. What else did I order?”

Waitress: “ As a main course meal, you have ordered Success, Power & Happiness.”

Man:” Wow! Can Love & Power can co-exist ?”

Waitress: “Yes of course. Love is your Selflessness. And Power is all about taking responsibilities with Selflessness.”

Camera focuses on the whole body of the man.

Man pinches himself sounding more convinced. “Am I dreaming? I never thought of this explanation?”

Waitress says “ You are in the CAFÉ OF DREAMS.”

Man with lots of curiosity asks: “What else did I order?”

Waitress: “You ordered Glory as your drink, Peace & Satisfaction as your dessert.”

Man: “ yeah I always love to Drink Glory . But after all these things, do you think I will have space left for Peace and Satisfaction?’

Waitress: “ At the end , if you don’t have Peace & Satisfaction then all the other things are inconsequential.”

Man with a satisfied look: “ Well, coming to the point. What do I have to pay for all these?”

Focus the camera on the mans face during this dialogue. Also place is getting brighter.

Waitress: “ For Love you have to be Selfless. For Success, you have pay by your hard work. For Power you have to take responsibilities. For Happiness, you have to be happy. For Glory, you have to Sacrifice. For Peace & Satisfaction you have to follow your heart. “

Camera slowly dims focus on the character all along and at the end of the dialogue, it focuses again on the man.

Waitress: “ Our Chef Mr. Ambition will prepare the meal for you Sir.”

White Light.

THE END

Encounter with Live Stage performance

Date: July 17,2006

Place: Taj West End

Occasion: CA All Hands Meeting

Being a Cisco all hands meeting, i was all curious to meet the Senior VP of the organization and never noticed the ensemble of programs in the list and so obviously did not do a research on what i was expecting to see as part of cultural activities which was planned for the evening. So i just glanced through the whole program list and did notice a "music and dance" program only. Well, it did not stir any emotions in me. I just thought - oh , here we go. Another boring round of dance and music like the Cisco day. (Cisco day was more of Bollywood & movies)

Meetings went off well and it was time for the cultural program. Many of the folks left as they were also not aware of what was in store for them. I was more interested in having "Sex On The Beach" cocktail. Well, do not take it literally but its a vodka based cocktail. I am a huge vodka fan as it doesnt give me a hangover and ZERO smell. Anyways, coming back to the main topic.

Program started with music. As they say "music" is a universal language - it was apparently visible with musician thrilling the desi and non desi crowd with some scintillating performances. Me being ignorant of the maestros on the stage - it did not hit me immediately the "greats" whom i was witnessing. I realised all that after loving the act and coming back and checking on my fav hangout - the WEB. Though i am not a "music" only loving fan - it did capture my imagination. I am more of a filmy buff bought up on a staple diet of filmy Rahmanesque musik and rock/pop stuff. This was something new to me. I had visited some stage shows in Kansas but they were more of amteurs. I should say this was my first "professional" insight into world of Indian music. And man, wasnt i impressed. All along, i could feel some sections of the crowd deeply immersed in the happenings and some sections bored with the whole deal and chatting away. One thing hit me at that instant which is making me write this.

Who is an Artist? Is Artists main goal to make money or display his talent or just enjoy what he is doing? Is it demeaning to perform in front of people who dont have a clue of music? Is it wrong to perform just for money in front of ignorant people? Lots of questions were running hrough my mind and i had answers which were also fluctuating between the extremes. Well, i have created a poll for this which i hope i get public opinion.

Coming on the dance performance, my hopes soared as the previous program was a good one. Announcements were made and there was a buzz in the hall. It started of with the Ganesha vandane and it was good. With the announcements, i could realise that this was not just contemporary dances. This group is called as STEM and the motto of the group is "Dance needs to move away from the shackles of rigidity to become moremeaningful."

We all could immediately see the difference. Combination of martial arts(kalaripayattu) with dance, fusion of Kathak and Spanish which was the best i could see in my life. Wow! And to hear how this dance originated was interesting. Saw many many dances and not a person stirred and many folks did not even breathe and i could see most of them were in awe. I should say ALL of them were in awe.

I realised that the success of both the performance was FUSION. EAST meets WEST. FUSION is the key aint it. When the whole EAST is moving towards WEST and WEST is running to embrace EAST - FUSION happens everywhere and proves "WORLD IS FLAT". Hey, we need to have best of both the worlds aint it. I totally agree with this dance form preached by this group. If you want details , please refer to this website and try to attend a show by them. Trust me, if you have an iota of interest towards ART - u will love it.

http://www.stemdancekampni.in/

This is not a referral but sincere appreciation of art.

World Cup 2006 Viva La ITALIA

I have been waiting for this Worldcup from last 4 years as i did not enjoy the last world cup at all. In midst of moving and non availability of cable tv during the movies in Kansas City and of course - poor performance of star teams left me totally dissatisfied. So i was all getting ready to watch this world cup and this time i was in Bangalore, India. I noted down all the timings, took print outs and chalked out plans as to which match i should be seeing and which ones i should be skipping. I also had predictions game where i would predict winners. As a stroke of luck, i was asked to report to Chicago office courtesy Cisco exactly a month before the Soccer tournament. Initially i was skeptical because of the timings. In India i would have been watching the matches during the wee hours of the night but if i move to Chicago - matches would be telecasted during afternoons. So with a heavy heart , i packed my bags thinking i will miss this World Cup also. You might be thinking - "Hey , what the heck! Big Deal". But man, this World Cup happens Once in 4 years and it is a WORLD sport unlike Cricket or American Football. I had pleasant surprises waiting for me in Chicago. Cisco is such a nice place to work that they have this policy of working from home. All i needed was a high speed internet connection which i had in my apartment. So i was mighty thrilled as the new realization hit me hard. I could see all the matches in the comfort of my home. Working from home. So i used to work after the games were over and continued watching the games.

Finally, the World Cup started. Deep in my heart - Italy was my favorite. This goes back to the time - when i was a HUGE fan of TOTO Schillachi and Baggio. I never liked Brazil. I always wanted Italy to win. And me being a Right Defensive in school , i always liked Italy for the solid defense. How can anyone forget Maldini. I was sad that he was replaced by younger Connavaro. I did not know how this new person played as i dont follow Eurpean Soccer league. I always feel, playing for Country more important than playing for Leagues where money plays importance. Anyways, games started and so did my roller coaster ride.

I was interested in all the groups but after the first couple of rounds, i thought Germany, Netherlands, Argentina, Portugal, Spain and of course ITALY were doing great. Again, i was not impressed with Brazil. Ronaldo just stands near the D and waits for the ball to be fed to him and just scores if he finds a chance. I remember Bastha Sunil in school doing the same. We did not have the offside rule in school and he literally used to sit near the goal post and score goals. Man, wasnt i wild at that time. I had really high expectations from the Netherlands - Argentina games but it turned out to be a fizz as the placings were already decided. I feel these star games should be played first than leaving it to the last. And the Portugal/Mexico was another gem of a game. I became an instant fan of Portugal. Not just because of Scolari but Figo & Deco. Figo is like Javed Miandad of cricket. He is a desert fox. I like guys with little "grey" attitude.

Round of 16 started without any major upsets in earlier rounds. And the one game i hated to see was Portugal vs Netherlands. Both were my favorite teams and both were playing good. I hated to see one of them loose.But since this was knockout, one has to loose. Marco Van Basten is an exciting coach though but not as much as Scolari. ;-) This game turned out into free for all game with refree forgetting he is in a soccer match. What a game it turned out to be. Figo and Deco were awesome. Though red card on Deco was not right. Eventually, Portugal won. All along Italy was silently silencing its critics and scandals back home.

Quarter Finals: Things heat up and deadly duels in store. Best among them being Germany vs Argentina. Frankly speaking, i feel Penalty shootouts to decide the game is totally unfair but to break the deadlock, it is needed. Though LEHMANN won it for Germany, i will always like Oliver Kahn. Germany sneaked into Semi Finals. But the shock of the tournament was yet to come. Grandpa's of the World Cup France was playing Brazil. And one grandpa in Brazil - Roberto Carlos was sleeping when Henry score the lone goal of the match. Good that it was not decided by penalties and Zidane continues. Oh what a world cup this is turning out to be. Meanwhile, my fav teams Portugal and Italy advance slowly to the Semis.

Semi Finals: I was travelling to NYC on that day and i made sure i was on time to watch the game. I was delayed by 30 mins due to flight traffic and came in late.But both the teams were waiting for my arrival to score goals. It was nearing end of Over time and man, the all round capability of Italy showed again. So it was not just the forwards who scored for Italy but also Defenders, mid fielders etc. Everyone was joining the party. So after scoring twice in dying minutes of xtra time - Italy went to the finals. In the other Semi Final - Zidane showed his magic nth time and France came into the Finals. Oh what a tournament it turned out to be. Where are Brazil, Argentina & Germany?

Finals: I was back in Chicago with by Samuel Adams light. Highlight of the tournament and unforgettable incident in this World Cup was head butting of Zizou. Whatever happened in the middle was really bad but it was a RED card. Was the sending off responsible for France loosing? Well, u never know. But Italy with its dubious record of loosing in the penalties - i was scared. But at last - Italy made all the PK

The Best of the tournament was the now famous HEAD BUTT. Well, debates will always go on if the butt changed the course of the finals. Should TV replays used in football? Bcoz zidane was sent out, France Lost? Well, personally i feel it was a turning point of the whole game. I am sure France would have been more confident with Zidane in the PK line up. I am 100% sure he would have easily cleared it. But there are no IFS & BUTTS in a football game. (Pun intended). This comes back to what Matterazzi did? Did he pass on a racist comment which aggravated Zidane so much that he caved in? Or was it a personal sneer? Well, i can defnitely think Zidane would write a book about it and it will be a top seller list when he releases it 12 years from now. Good idea to make money man! So Zidane, do not reveal it now. I can write your biography unless you want an auto bio. :-)

At the end of it, it is the winner who takes all. Rite. I still remember 1989 sports meet in IDPL school. I was in the Sarabjit Singh team. Tough luck and my side was an imbalanced side. We were the eakest team in the 4 groups on paper and in reality. We lost in all the games and we did not win any medal. So me and Ramana were made to guard the sports equipment when te prize distribution was happening by the PT sir as we did not win and with a real HEAVY heart, me and Ramana were sitting near the goal post with almost tears in our eyes when all the other groups were cheering during the prize distribution. So when football stars were shown crying on the screen for missing an important goal or loosing a match - i could immediately correlate to it. But SPORTS is the real winner i feel. It is always better to participate and loose than not participate at all. JO JEETA WOHI SIKANDAR.

When Love and Hate Collide

This is a movie story which i wrote which i want to make it. So if Subhash Ghai visits this Blog - he sure knows where to get in touch with me. Its called as "When Love & Hate Collide". As far as the story goes, here it is

As Fatima acknowledged in her penultimate statement of hers, “this movie also has lots of masala in it except for the story line.” I am here to fill in the gap. With due permissions from Fatima ji, I thought of this story to be apt to fit in to the whole scenario.

Though I was not present in the location physically, excellent screenplay and visualization description helped me a lot in writing this story to fit in to the already selected low budgeted locations. Thanks to Fatima’s keyboard and Directors camera.

When Love & Hate Collide

Story starts off with our hero Raj driving on the Necklace Road in his new Red Corvette.

He works in Microsoft office in HiTech City. He is obviously late for a meeting. Right on Tank Bund bus stop, he sees an extremely beautiful girl. She is wearing a white dress with flowers on it. He is mesmerized by her eyes. He parks his vehicle and comes over to the girl and initiates a conversation. She is busy with her newspaper trying to solve her SuDoKu puzzle. During the conversation Raj learns that the name of the girl is Swarna Bhat and they both share the passion for Puzzles. Girl is a bit nervous with talking to strangers but he is making her comfy by his puzzle solving methods. Together, sitting there – with wind blowing – they solve the puzzle. Sensing that conversation is not going forward – he tries a last attempt to extend the meet. He tells her about a new Puzzle Garden open in the city and it seems it is awesome and if she is interested to visit with him. After the usual girly nakhras – she finally agrees. Off they go to Puzzle Garden.

After a combined joint effort of running through the maze – as expected they crack the maze. ( Director, I need you to use the same camera effects which RGV used in SHIVA). Both are exhausted and tired. They go the nearby Chanakya Hotel and have Biriyani & Ice Cream. First seeds of love are sowed into the Swarna’s heart. Raj drops Swarna in her Township Apartments and they xchange fone nos as well.

Overnight, Raj cannot sleep. He keeps thinking about the wonderful time he spent in the maze with Swarna. (Well, if we are making a Telugu movie – I will forcefully insert a dream song here else forget it. Expensive) Whereas Swarna, unknown of the turmoil which Raj is undergoing is sleeping soundly in her home. Raj cannot control his feelings anymore. He looks at the watch and it is midnight. He sneaks out of his house, takes his car out and goes near Swarna’s house. Parks it a few yards from her house. He calls her and wakes her up. She is startled to receive a call at this hour but she was expecting this call though her mind will deny it but her heart longed for it. She comes out and Raj grabs her hand and asks her to come over with him as he has to show her something. Swarna is puzzled, shocked, surprised, scared all rolled into one. But her heart wins over the mind and she agrees to go with him. They zoom past through some unfamiliar roads and there in the horizon is Charminar in its full glory – lights magnifying the beauty. At this ghastly hours – area around Bangle Stores did not look all that scary. Is it him or is it the empty roads? The eerie silence is disturbed by the VROOOOOM.

The place looked familiar to Swarna but she was mesmerized with the person next to her. He took her to an elevated place and pointed at something which initially looked like empty space but it crystallized in her sight. It was the 7 Tombs. Raj proclaimed his undying love to the damsel next to him claiming that he wanted to build an 8^th tomb for her as he not only want to live with her now but even spend time with her in that place after their death also. Words are not coming out of her mouth. Eyes turn a little bit moist. Raj notices a little smile on her angelic face and there comes our song. He whispers his love to her and the whisper can be heard loudly as we are near the Queens Cabin. Whew!

Song will be shot in Golconda Fort. Since our choreographer is a kid – no tough steps eh! Heroine will be just running around with Golconda ruins in the background. (Director – I am inspired by Super – Ayesha Takia song. U better shoot it the same way.) Well, wrapping it up quickly – we have love birds in our hands. Well, nothing great. No twists and turns till now. Ok, here we go. Raj decides to go to IMAX theatres that day. So he and Swarna end up at the box office. (or ticket counter). 2 movies running. Superman Returns & Harry Potter – 4. Raj wants to see the former but Swarna wants to see the later. They have a tiff as both are not ready to budge. They fight for few seconds and our ultra sensitive Swarna goes home in a huff.

INTERMISSION

Due to simple ego reasons like who should call and apologize first – time flies. No one calls. Raj gets busy with his work. He is sent to “namma bengaluru” for some Project work and he takes an A/C coach as he is health conscious. Enter millionaire Rahul. He is THE man. Handsome, Rich, good habits, etc. To put in a nutshell, he is all good qualities put into one. This guy is the selected groom by Swarna’s parents for her. He also like Swarna. Currently Swarna is going through a low phase as she has this lovers tiff with Raj. Rahul comes along and meets Swarna’s parents and they are mighty excited to get the daughter married off to the MOST eligible bachelor in the world. Rahul talks with Swarna oozing with charm and pangs of guilt and attraction strike Swarna simultaneously known only to her. She calls Raj to feel the comfort factor and she gets disconnected tone as Raj got a new SIM for Bangalore. Swarna is all confused and worried. She is getting into the vortex of Rahul but not able to decide on Raj. Did Raj dump her? All these questions bother her endlessly.

Finally with much heartpain, Swarna caves in to her parents wishes. She does like Rahul but she had given her heart to Raj. But since there is no response from Raj – she gives in to the goodness and irresistible honesty of Rahul. Engagement dates are announced. Swarna gives a last attempt to meet Raj and goes to his office where she is told that he is in Bangalore. She is more angry that Raj never told her about it. She did not hear that he is coming back but assumes he is gone for good. Rahul presents Swarna with the 4.3 Crore diamond which is an exact replica of the one found in Salar Jung Museum. Marriage is performed in Birla Temple.

Well, song time. (why do u think folks keep songs unnecessarily when it is not needed? Cmon, how can I have smoke breaks?). Rahul & Swarna rush to the Airport for the whoosh honemoon travel. We can fit in a song here with all the Trained Dancers from Ramoji University. And for kicks we will have Snow World shots to show they are in good old Switzerland. Honeymoon over. Back to apna desh. Regular life starts off. They lead a good life. Rahul turns out to be a great husband and Swarna a cool wife and they make a great couple.

The End. U think so! NAH.

Raj finishes his project and he is coming back. He is all eager to ask for apology for his childish act and wants Swarna to come back to his life. With these thoughts in mind – he rushes to Swarna’s house. Meets daddy and comes to know of the news. (Director, I want a really intense scene here. Please let me direct this one scene. Please.) There on the table he sees the wedding snaps of Swarna. He sneaks one picture of the couple , finds out where she lives and walks off. He is walking but his whole life is crashing all around him. He is in a state of shock and it has numbed his feelings. His heart is hurting in one side but fuming rage is rising in his heart. He goes home and shuts in his room. He has just one question in his mind for Swarna. WHY? WHY? His whole world comes tumbling down. He is in deep turmoil. How can he get out of this rot? He needs Swarna. Swarna is his life. She is his soul.

Slowly an evil thought comes to his mind and he gets up and rushes to the Airport again. He will regain Swarna at any cost. At any cost. He will get her back to love him again.

He buys a return ticket to Mumbhai. Lands in Mumbai Airport. ( Director, please get the name Plate changed in RFC please). Takes a taxi. All along he has this chilling expression on his face. He stops near Talwalkars Gym. He goes in and asks for Anna. Huge body builder takes him inside into a dimly lit room. Anna walks in. He has this menacing bloodshot red eyes . He doesn’t talk much but just nods his head. Raj takes out the marriage picture of Swarna. Tears off the pic in the middle and gives Rahuls part to Anna and keeps Swarnas with himself for good memories. Raj wants revenge. Simple. He says SUPARI in a chilling voice. Anna nods his head and the money matter is quickly resolved. Raj walks out of they gym back to Hyderabad.

Next scene is a slow motion one. Anna is in his trademark Ambassador car. He is surveying the place before he goes for the kill. He is slowly gliding in front of Rahuls palace. (We can use FKs house in RFC for this). We see Rahul enjoying his Sunday newspaper sipping coffee. We see Anna getting down from the car with a bag on his shoulder and the barrel of a uzzo poking out of the bag. Scene cut. Show Raj eating Hot Channa & drinking soothing Hot Coffee. His phone rings. Anxiously, he answers the phone. Anna is on the other side. (We can cut the scene to show the screen in half – Anna standing in front of the Hospital. ) Anna is smiling. He tells Raj

“Eh bhai, work is finished. It is a grand success.”

Raj: “ Oh good. So is the guy dead?”

Anna: “Oh u bet! He is dead. I am done. Oh, by the way – while I was shooting him his wife interfered and I killed her also. No charge for you though.” And Cuts the fone.

END Credits roll in.

IDPL Dostaan

Did most of my schooling in IDPL school Balanagar -Hyderabad. It was the place where dad worked and hence all my classmates used to live in the colony. I can say i had an excellent school life with equal mixture of studies and fun and sports.

We were close friends of 5 people. We used to call ourselves Famous Five. We were equally good in studies as well as sports. Let me introduce each one of them as in the above pic

1) Me

2) Ramana- Currently in Washington DC area.

3) Ajay - Last seen in Florida. Hey bro, still pissed of with us is it? Please respond back

4) Sudheer - Salt lake City, Utah.

5) Kalyan - Last seen in California. Hope he is healthy now with his Calif adventures.

Anyways, me and Ramana were hardcore cricket players. Always playing cricket and doing drama bazee. Suddu - this guy used to run away as soon as his batting got over. I think he told his parents to call him as soon as he is done coz that used to happen everytime whenever we played in the park. Ajay was our ace leg spinner and drinks man. I still remember his Ding Dong sound of his bicycle bell. Kalyan-karate champ ,lover boy.

Our school episodes resembled "The Wonder Years" episode a lot. Fights, crush on girls, crush on teachers, making fun and getting punished. A heady concotion of all the above.

Fights: I can not forget the big fight A section had with B section. Sibqat vs Faqruddin. No, i was not studying in Pakistan.

Crush On Girls: 10th standard was particularly bad i thought. So many guys having flings, affairs, crushes and what not. How can i forget this guy cutting his hand and writing about his love in a diary. or . this other guy proposing to a girl right during the March Past as he knew the girl wont hit back.

Crush On teachers: Come on, who doesnt have crushes on teachers. Hmm, without naming them i can broach on the subjects they teached . Social Teacher, English teacher. Why do u think i scored such high marks in Social Studies? Coz i used to concentrate on the lecture coz of the teacher. Maybe should send this info to HRD ministry to "reserve" seats to OBTs. (Other Beautiful teachers).

Making Fun: We 5 used t othink we r superior to this bunch of girls led by 420. Dunno why? We found these giggling girls STUPID. We used to make fun of them so much that sitting back now, i feel we did a wrong thing. I am not sure where each one of them is but apologies.

Getting Punished: How can anyone in the class forget the day when we were making huge noise in the class and PT sir called all of us to the ground and made us do the frog punishment for 45 mins and made us hop the whole soccer ground. Man, that hurts even now.

Sports: I was in the Sarabjeet Sigh house and it sucked big time. We did not win anything. Not even a medal. I thought atleast we will be given consolation prize in the march past event but with kids like prasanna in front of me - no way we could win. Anways, happiest moment in my life is linked to Cricket in school.

Studies: Healthy competition in class. Suddu was topper always and i HATED it when he used to check other folks marks and tell it aloud. Suddu - why? there was this girl Uma Devi. Never sounded or looked bright but she always used to score big marks. Best part was - whenever we did not want a class - we used to go and ask the Social Studies teacher a doubt and she used to say -"Sudheer, get the dictionary" and there went the whole class.

Farewell Party: Hmm, QSQT was a huge hit and man - love was in the class. So many pairs in the class. So many rumors floating around. We all decorated the class and thought we will have the party in the class. SO much of preparation went and Principla squashed it. We all decided to meet in the eating area and i remember Azmath dancing to Tezaab tune.

In a nutshell, school life is an important phase of ones life. Instead of just concentrating on studies - one should enjoy it as it cannot be relived. With no worries and innocence in our hearts - i believe these are really "WONDER YEARS".

PS: The girl in the picture is the mystery girl. If any of you know her, let Ajay know.

Cheers

Nandi Hills - Aryans first Outing

To

Cabb8-Trip Gang

C/O Cisco Systems, Inc.

Spread Across Bangalore

From,

The Monkey

C/O Nandi Betta

Town of The Nandi

I am writing this letter from the betta. On Saturday, 22^nd April 2006, our betta was invaded by a group of beings who called themselves Cool- guys-of-cabb8. There 3 women, 2 sweet like kids and 4 men. They came in some kind of a FO [flying objects] which they called car and “geared-bike”.

I am writing all this from what I overheard. It seems they did not have a very long journey this time unlike the others they have had. Also, the number of “people” this time was less. Two more women seemed to have got bored of this troupe which is why they did not join this trip.

They must have come from Bangalore. I can say this from my past experience, as we had a similar invasion a few years back when a story teller had come over here with a gang. I think this time also it was the same guy, but I am not too sure as he seems to have put on lot of weight.

So, the troupe discussed that they left Bangalore and had an hour or so of good ride. The moment they landed here on the betta, they started searching for an isolated place where we did not reside. All they wanted to do was to eat. How foolish of them how can they find a place without monkeys in our very own land! The 2 little one’s seemed to eat for so long time. I thought the monkeys in my clan are much better. They just eat some grass, fruits and even clean our bodies by hunting for the lice. But these kids had to be fed with great difficulty.

There seemed to be one guy, who wanted to chase us using the sticks grown in our land. Ha ha , he got allergic to it. The other one was strong enough; he held the stick with him for a long time. They had some food which looked like BBB. I remember my mother stealing it once and getting it for me when I was young. But this time I have no intention to steal their food. We grow wise as we grow old.

Finally, after a long time all of them seemed to have filled their stomach. Now they decided to look around the place. I wonder what is there over here to site-see. But for sure there were two homo-sapiens who seemed to irritate all the “couching-coo” couples around.

They went to see the “nallekai” Nandi. One of them even made some wish into the bull’s ear. Foolish people I thought. But they sure were having fun. Then they went to the Gandhi –Smarak-Bhavan. I have found out that many folks seem to like this place, as the eucalyptus trees around give a cool breeze even during the scorching summer. They had some photo session. I think they will use this when they get back to show their “triumph”.

So soon they were all tired. Then they sat around to play something. One of them carrying the baby started collecting money. I was wondering what he is up to. I have seen the “madari” collect money from people before he makes us monkeys dance. I thought he will also make the child do some stunts like us. No, he did not do so. But instead they started playing some game, shouting numbers and bingo and Housie. I think this is that lottery game called housie. They played until almost everyone seemed to win.

Everyone who comes here has to visit the drop. Then they headed towards the “Tipu-Drop”

There are lots of rocks here and a nice view from the top. Usually people sit here and try to trace the path they took to reach the betta. These folks also did the same. But two of them wanted to have some fun so they went all around the rocks, jumping and running. But they can never beat us monkeys, the way we jump around is much efficient compared to what they were doing. But they seemed to be enjoying it.

Finally they went to the Shiva temple. All seemed tired. Then they left the betta. They must have reached home safely after another hour-or-so of driving back in their FO.

I am writing this to share my experience as to what I felt about homo-sapiens. Initially I was scared that they will do some harm, but they were peaceful guys just come to relax over what they often called the weekend.

I remember reading this some where,

A man needs a little madness, or else he never dares cut the rope and be free. -Nikos Kazantzakis, writer (1883-1957)

This group seems to be doing just that.

Ciao

Head Monkey

The Clan- Nandi Betta

Skit - Day In Life of Cisco-ite

A Day in the life of a Cisco-ite

Introduction: This is a short humorous skit depicting the life of a Cisco-ite from the time of his joining to the time he decides for better opportunities. All Names/Situations are fictional and resemblance is coincidence.

Protagonist: Raj (Male/30)

HR: Bipasha Mirza (Female/26)

US: Tom ( Male/40)

Wife: Wife (Female/28)

Receptionist: (Female/22)

Fruits Seller: (Male/24)

Security Office: (Male/30)

Disclaimer: (Akash Vani)

Scene 1:

Raj works in a company by the name of “Jupiter”. In this scene, he is shown sitting on his desk and scratching his hair trying to fix a problem. (Props: Banner displaying Jupiter as the company name behind where Raj is sitting). His cell phone rings. (Props: Annoying ringtone.) Raj looks irritatingly at the cell phone as it is an unknown caller.

He answers the phone in a stern voice.

Raj: “Hello.Raj from Jupiter.”

Lady: “Hi Raj.How are you doing today?”

Raj (thinking it is a call from Credit Card agency shouts): “Madam, I have told you that I have ICICI credit card and I do not need any more cards but why are you calling repeatedly again and again?”

Lady: “Actually I am not calling from ICICI. I am calling from CISCO”.

Raj(Before the lady could finish her statement cuts her with his words): “When did CISCO start making credit cards?”

Lady(Chuckles): “Raj, I am Bipasha Mirza calling from CISCO. I am HR with CISCO and I found your resume on naukri.com and your profile fits one of the open positions and we would like to have a short interview with you.”

Raj(excitement in his voice): “CISCO.Cool. Yeah, I am interested Bipasha.”

Bipasha: “When would you like to take the call Raj?”

Raj: “Actually I am free now. I can take the call right now.” Turns around and shuts down his laptop which he was working on as soon as heard Cisco is interested in talking to him.

Bipasha: “ That’s great Raj. There is one little problem here Raj.”

Raj: “No problem with the problem. And that too a little one? Phew!”

Bipasha: “ Actually Cisco has a policy of 5 people interviewing you. But the good part is – it will be telephonic”.

Raj: “Telephonic! That’s cool. I like telephonic interviews. Don’t ask me why. So what is the little problem?”

Bipasha: “ Interview panel is spread across the globe. 2 people from US and 2 people from Hong Kong will be calling.”

Raj(Quite confused with all the time zones): “Hmmm! Ok.Not a problem at all.”

Bipasha: “So can I confirm it then?”

Raj: “You Bet!”

Scene 2:

Raj is shown holding a thick CCIE (props) book and his cell phone in hand moving from one corner to another in a tense mood. Cell Phone rings and he picks it up immediately seeing the calling number is from USA.

Raj: “Hello. This is Raj speaking. Are you from US Cisco?”

US: “ Hello Raj. How are you doing?”

Raj: “Hello, can you speak louder. I cannot hear you properly. I am hearing a echo.”

US:” I am Tom calling from Cisco.”

Raj ( with lot of eagerness in voice): “ Hi Tom. I am Raj. I have 8 years of experience in networking domain and I am currently working for Jupiter. I am a business minded professional looking for a challenging position in your great company. Most of my life I have been watching Cisco stocks and I have great respect for your company.” He rants on and on. No need of dialogues here. Just lip movement would be sufficient.

Foreigner: “Hey that’s ok! I will ask you a simple question. What is MPLS?”

Raj: “Hello, Hello…bzzz..too much static” and in the meanwhile is shown turning the pages around and finding the answer.

Raj:” Multi Protocol Label Switching”

US: “ Whew Raj. Thanks. That was great. Nice talking to you.Bye”

Similarly, in a fast cut – phone is shown ringing 3-4 times and in one instance Raj is shown turning the pages of CCIE and answering the questions (no voice here also) and cheering himself on when he got the correct answer.

After all these calls, another phone rings. Raj looks at the number murmuring to himself

Raj:”An unknown number again. Maybe from Cisco.”

He picks up the phone and a lady voice is heard

Lady: “ Hi Raj.”

Raj(Doesn’t listen to any more words of the lady. Thinks it is a call from Cisco again and starts off): “Hi. . I am Raj. I have 8 years of experience in networking domain and I am currently working for Jupiter. I am a business minded professional looking for a challenging position in your great company. Most of my life I have been watching Cisco stocks and I have great respect for your company.”

Lady : “ Honey, its me. Your wife. Just calling from a phone booth. Why are you so tensed?”

Raj: “ Neena. I thought it was someone from Cisco again. Honey, I think I got the job in Cisco.”

Wife: “Hey that’s great. Cisco is so near to our house. You can come home early unlike Electronic City and take care of the baby. That’s good news. Accept it.”

Scene 3:

Props needed: Cisco board, security guard cap, empty slate, digital camera

Raj(with blown apart hair) : “Hello Officer, I am a new joiner. I want my badge done.”

Security(taking the empty slate):” What is your Employee ID?” and writes on the slate.Pushes Raj on to the wall and puts the slate in Raj’s hand and picks his camera. Raj is seen trying adjust his shirt and hair but the Security officer clicks the picture anyways.

Raj:”But Raj, my hair was not right. Can you please retake the picture.”

Security: “No problem gentleman. It has come really good. Welcome to Cisco.”

“Well, you know – this badge works everywhere in the world. This badge is your passage to the world.’

Again he starts handing the badge to Raj but takes it back again. All along, Raj is staring at the badge and giving an expression that if he gets the badge, he will just run away as he is bored listening to the Security office talk.

Security: “Gentleman, if you loose the badge, even if it is 2 AM – do not hesitate to call me. If you don’t get me, do not hesitate to talk to my wife.Here you go. Welcome to Cisco World. Good Bye”.

Secuirty: “Currently, we have run short of blank badges. As a result of this, we are unable to print badges for the new hires joined in past one week.We have ordered for a stock from US and the same has been shipped to Sydney yesterday. Once it arrives to Sydney by this weekend,a qty of badges will be shipped to India by next week . As soon as we receive the stock , I will start badging the new hires in a day.”

Raj returns with a temp badge!

Raj is shown as grabbing the badge and running away!

Scene 4:

Props Needed: NEO board, 3 Cisco caps.

Raj attends his New Employee Orientation. HR Bipasha Mirza is the person who is giving presentation. Raj is shown all attentive and eager.

Bipasha: “ Hello all you Cisco-ites. Great to see you all in here. We will be having this NEO for 2 days and we will take care of you really nice in this NEO.”

Raj(lifting his hand): “ Will lunch be served?”

Bipasha(initially showing interest to answer his query): “Yes, of course. We have Ice Cream too.”

Bipasha:” First we will start off with history of Cisco. Cisco recently completed 20 years in existence and we are proud..”

Raj(Interrupts Bipasha): “ When do we get stocks?”

Bipasha:”Finance will answer that question.”

Bipasha:”continuing where I left, we are proud of Cisco and we do take good benefits for the employees…”

Raj(interrupts again): “Are parents covered in the Medical Insurance?”

Bipasha(showing obvious irritation)”Raj, that will be covered in the benefits section.”

Bipasha:”Ok, now we will have a guest lecture who has filed patents and done some real great pioneering work.”

Raj:”How much money Is paid for filing patents and are they taxable?”

Bipasha(fully irritated):” I think that is the end of the NEO. Hope you all had good responses to your queries. If you have any questions, check it in our CEC else open a HRC but not on a PTO.”

Raj(confused with all abbrevations):” Great. That’s it? Where are the freebies? Can I have 3 Cisco caps please. One for my me, One for the wife and One for the little boy who lives in my house.”

Bipasha: OK!

Bipasha: Ok, all of you, please wait. We are having a photo session now. Can you all stand here. “

All of them Stand and Pose for the pic! Bips takes the camera and then says

Bips: “Hey, even I want to be in the picture.Raj,can you please come and take the picture?”

Raj: “Why are you asking me to go out? I also want to be in the picture.”

Bipasha(embarrassed): Raj, we want only photogenic people in the picture.Not all. This is for the AMAZING PEOPLE portfolio.”

Raj goes and clicks the picture!

Scene 5:

Props Needed: Nothing

Raj’s first day at the office. He meets his mentor Aryan.

Aryan:”Hi Raj. I am your mentor. Welcome to Cisco.”

Raj:”Thank you. How long have you been with Cisco?”

Aryan:”Close to 10 years. I was with Cisco during the good days i.e. Dot Com boom”

Raj:”Then you must have made good money. Eshtu eli Raj”

Aryan:”We shouldn’t be discussing that.Ok, here is your laptop,IP Phone, Mobile Phone. We @ Cisco believe in Work From Home Culture and also healthy Fridays. On Fridays, we get fresh fruits and juices – On the house. Well, seeya around. If you have any questions – do let me know.But do ping me before u come to me.”

Scene 6:

Props Needed: Plastic Cover, Fruits,Juices, Board of “Fruits Vendor”

Raj shown working on his laptop acting in a pensive mood. He is looking at the watch and then his laptop. After couple of seconds, he walks down to meet the receptionist.

Raj:”Hello Reception!”

Tabu:” Hi Raj. It is Tabu here.”

Raj(Anger in his voice):”Hello! Tabu Khan. Do you know which day is today?”

Receptionist( pleasantly): “It is Friday.Why Raj?”

Raj:”It is already 3 PM and I still did not get the email regarding the fruits. Where are the fruits? Can you please personally call me and let me know when they arrive?”

Receptionist:”Ok Raj. I see them coming. They should be in the cafeteria in 2 minutes.”

Raj goes back to his seat and opens his drawer and grabs a plastic cover and runs.

Big basket with fruits is kept. Raj is the first to arrive. He grabs a dozen apples and stuffs them in his plastic bag all the while glancing around if no one is watching him. He goes and grabs another dozen juice packs and quickly steps away with a huge satisfied grin on his face.

“

He is shown leaving the Cisco office and rushing out towards a fruits seller.

Vendor:”Namaskar Sir, heli enu beku?Ooty Apple ide. ”

Raj:”I wanted to sell some fruits to you instead. You can just pay me half price for these. Deal?”

Vendor(Happily):”En Sir! Laxmi ge financeaaa! Hannu Maronige Hannu Martiraa!”

Raj : « Adjust madkoli ! «

Vendor:”Ela yuvna! Beligge Beligge yaara mukha nodino eno gotilla.Olle giraki”

Vendor hands over the money and says “Dina Barthairi!”.

Scene 7:

Props Needed: Board of HOME

Raj is initially shown leaning on his laptop in a drowsy mood. Then he dozes couple of times. He gets up and sits on his couch and sleeps off. We can hear him snoring. His phone rings loudly and it is his manager.

Manager:”Hi Raj, where are you? I just came to your seat and I did not find you.”

Raj: “ I am actually working from Home Manager. Working real hard.”

Manager:”Hmm, that’s good.Just go early to the office as Tom from San Jose is coming to Bangalore to meet the whole team for 2 days.So take care of him.”

Raj: “ You don’t worry of that manager. All taken care of.”

Voice: Next day morning, Raj is all ready and dressed to the occasion. He comes and meets Tom from Sanjose.Raj is in a blazer while Tom comes in Shorts.

Raj:”Hi Tom. Remember me. You took my interview. You did not ask me any questions. Why is that?”

Tom(apparently embarrassed): “ Hi Raj. Nice to meet you. I have come for 2 day visit to Bangalore to meet the team and get to know the work being done here.”

Raj:”Tom, forget everything. You are in India for the first time and let me take care of you. First, we will go to Mysore and I will show you the Mysore palace. And we can buy some wooden toys for your kids.”

Tom:”But Raj, I have come here for work and not on vacation.”

Raj:”India, people respect visitors a lot. You don’t worry. Today, we will go to Nandhini hotel for lunch. It is very spicy you know.Hahaha, I hope you don’t mind. You will pay the bill rite”

Tom:” But..”

Raj(Holds Tom’s hand):”Tom, also I will take you to Cauvery Emporium and you can buy Elephants and saree for your wife.”

Tom:”But I am not married .”

Raj:”That’s ok. You can give it to your kids. Thanksgiving is near anyways.”

Tom is lost. He puts up his arms and both walk away.

Tom “ I am not getting work done here after all this shopping and eating. Why don’t you come to US to meet us Raj?“

Raj: “ US? Where in USA? Hope it is somewhere near Las Vegas. Always wanted to visit that place.”

Scene 9:

Raj is shown packing for his trip to San Jose which is near to Las Vegas. He has this PRESSURE COOKER on the table. Raj’s peer walks over and asks: “Hey Raj, How is your trip preparation going on? All set to fly?”

Raj: “Yeah man. I am all set and excited.”

Friend: “But what is this PRESSURE COOKER doing in your luggage?”

Raj: “Oh, that’s CISCO Frugality.”

Phone rings. It is Tom on the line.

“Raj, our General Manager has asked for Travel Restrictions. So please cancel your trip. Ok!”

Raj is visibly upset with this news.

Scene 8:

Raj’s cell phone rings again. He recognizes the caller as HR Bipasha and takes the call

Bipasha:”Hi Raj, how are you? Are you looking for a change in job? I have a great opening in my company”

Raj:”Hey Bipasha, pulling my leg – is it? I already work for your Company Cisco”.

Bipasha”Oh, you did not see my resignation email. I sent it to CISCO-ALL and I received so many good bye emails also. Maybe you missed.

Bipasha” I have joined HAWAII.”

Raj(puzzled):”But why? Everything was so good at Cisco? “

Bipasha:”Well, In HAWAII we get more onsite opportunities and also we get Beer on Friday afternoons unlike juice.”

Raj:”Is it? Hey, can I come too. But they give Stocks right”

Bipasha: “ Of Course!”.

Raj:“I will send my resume immediately. Thanks and Bye”

Scene 9:

Raj resigns from Cisco, packs his bag in a cover and starts going out. Security guard comes running and starts searching his bag. Raj snatches his cover and questions the guard

Raj:”Hey, I am not a terrorist. I don’t have any bombs. Why are you searching me like this?”

Security: “Raj, I am not searching for bombs. I am searching for Fruits because we got a complaint that people are taking fruits home.”

End Scene: All

Akash Vani comes on to the stage and rest of us are all standing with all who played Raj in one corner. She does brief introductions of each of us. When she finishes, she stands in the centre. All of us walk near to the mike, point to the crowd and say out Aloud

“WE KNOW THERE IS NO RAJ IN YOU!”