Glorious QT - Thanks!

I have no apprehensions calling myself a "diehard" fan of the Crazy basterd QT. IB (Inglorious Basterds) was the movie which i had been waiting for a long time. From last few months, i was becoming a voracious reader on anything and everything which was related to WW2. I even have an Indian print of Mein Kampf which i got for 150Rs. When the snippets about this movie came, i was mega thrilled and raring to go. After all, QT was making a movie on WW2. This was like having my favorite red wine with Penelope. What more can i ask for? The expectations from the movie had hit the roof. This is the scary part for me as some of the recent movie experiences did not meet 10% of these movie expectations. (Huh, i am a numbers guy and folks might be thinking how do you measure expectations?) Few of my office friends (all secret admirers of QT - Maamu, PSP, Diamond; we all touch based on seeing the movie. But i could never go with those folks. Ended up seeing a private screening in the cozy warmth of my home at some unearthly hour to escape the disturbance from Aryan and the old lady (She HATES QT).

Chapter One

Movie starts with a beautiful background music. (The Verdict - Ennio Morricone). French family running around in a panicky mode. I could smell a rat in their behavior. (Pun inteneded ;-)) Enter the main protagonist of the movie Col.Hans Landa. (Yes, he is the MAIN guy. Hero)

• When he enters the room, the way the farmers family was standing increased the tension already. It was a pure give away to Landa that something is not right.
• With a silken grace, Landa looks at the girls. Without mouthing his intentions, it is quite obvious of the cruelty behind his real intentions.
• The farmer asks one of his daughter to close the door. It did not occur to me till the end of Chapter One what the intention of closing the window was. My assumption is to make the room darker. To hide the rats. Obviously.
• When Landa switches speaking to English from French, i cringed. I thought to suit the linguistic audience he did that. (Scored of Hindi movies including Lagaan where we see Gora's talking in Hindi). But QT doesnt make such mistakes. We are exposed to the real reason behind this. Later.
• Landa (Chirstopher Waltz). Amazing. I have worked with quite a lot of European folks in my career. The body language, the excessive usage of hands when he talks, his facial expressions. bravo.
• After few uncomfortable questions, the farmer resorts to having nicotine. Was this the directors intention to show the rising tension in the farmer? Well, as a smoker - i do get this nicotine cravings when faced with extreme tensions.
• The killer of a dialog was "Having Never met the Dreyfusses, can you confirm the family details". Farmer never realizes the trap and sings about the family in detail including the exact ages of the family. That was an excellent piece of dialog.
• Cut 2 scenes. Farmer thinks investigation is over. Just look at his confidence when he offers Landa another glass of milk. The way he sits on the chair. This is a good investigation technique i believe. Get the person into a comfort zone and hit him where it hurts.
• Next, the metaphor of comparing German/Jew to Hawk/Rat speaks volumes of QT as a writer.
• One expression which will remain in my mind for a long time. 18 minutes into movie. Landa changes from a smile to a threatening expression where he mouths the dialog "You are sheltering enemies of the state, are you not?". Wohooooo! Paisa vasool.
• Rest of the chapter goes on a predictable lines. Till the end. The scene is shot from inside the house. Dark House. Bright outdoor. Shosanna running. Landa twitches his left shoulder. I was already sitting straight. What happens next is beautiful. Now that i have seen the complete movie, was QT giving a hint about the Anti-Climax?

Verdict: One of the best start a movie can have. I am sure audience would be grasping for more air while watching this. Too much tension.

Chapter Two

The scene starts off with Brad Pitt. Thanks QT for making Brad talk in the "Tennessee" accent. It was good. (Yeah, i am no expert of the accents but Brad mentions Smoky Mountains). Some interesting dialogs

• Brad pitt talking about soldiers owing him 100 nazi heads as Debit. Thats one helluva debit card. Scalps - i thought was more of a figurative speech of dead nazis. QT's queer comic sense - he wants the scalps. Yeah, scalps.
• I had wontedly NOT read any reviews/previews/interviews. Out pops Hitler in the next scene in his typical table banging "Nai, nai". Though Hitler did not look as menacing as Hitler in "Der Untertang" but this made the point. Point well taken.
• In the background, there is an artist rendering a picture of Hitler. Larger than life size of the painting. Is this the way of showing Hitler had larger than life ego? Another screenplay masterpiece.
• The next scene eerily reminded me of Gabbar/Samba. Instead of Ramnagar hillocks, you have a French jungle.
• The introduction of Hugo Stiglitz. Another comic QT interlude. The escape of Hugo from Jail. Simple. Reminded me of Tridev jail escapade. (Sorry, got diverged.)
• German being interrogated by Brad. When asked where are the soldiers, he makes a typical Subhash Ghai "Karma" dialog. Cliche!
• The intro of "Bear Jew". Nah, i did not like this. Too much of WWF kinda intro.
• Another masterpiece dialog in this mayhem. "Bear Jew" asks "Did you get this medal for killing Jews". German replies "Bravery". This in all its simplicity explains "Perspective". Something in the likes of "Jihad" & "Freedom".
• The much needed violence in this violent movie finally comes. Couple of close shots, followed by couple of long shots and then various responses. Good handling there.
• The way QT interspersed comedy within violence surrounded by tension. This is one scene which reinforces the fact. Fuhrer telling the soldier "Dont tell this to anyone. Your outfit was ambushed and you got away."

Verdict: Too much filmy. But i think it was needed. Predictable dialogs and predictable scenes. Thanks QT for not extending the chapter by showing how the group was ambushed or how they will ambush the next group. We have enough War movies to see those.

Chapter Three

After suspense, violence & comedy - QT decides its time for some romance. Enter Shosanna again. Being wooed by a German war hero. Some more nuggets from this chapter

• Shosanna says "We respect directors in France." Soldier says "Even Germans." His is a statement. Shosanna sarcastically makes his statement to a question "Even germans?" And she says "Yes, even germans". (Making it sound like, yes we respect germans also). Good one.
• To extend conversation, soldier asks the lady her name. Again sarcastic of German soldiers, she shows her papers to the soldier emphasizing the constant checking of papers by Germans.
• The scene where Soldier is explaining his exploits in the Bird tower, Shosanna looked beautiful. I mean really beautiful. (After the staple diet of Lopez, Jolie, Megan) Her acting, A+. Especially when she grimaces after she hears of his killing numbers. Good job.
• What continues is the re-entry of Landa. I could see the fear in Soshanna's eyes when Goebbel announces the entry of Landa.
• What follows is top class scene involving 2 of the best characters in the movie. I am talking of the Strudel eating scene. What more can we expect in terms of underlying tension and suspicion? He orders espresso for himself but Milk for the girl. This is something i did not get. The relevance of milk. Is it that Jews like milk? Rats like milk? Dunno? I am waiting for a Directors commentary in the official DVD where hopefully QT explains this.
• Back to his standard ways of interrogation. Make the interrogated person feel comfy. He tells her to relax, talks using her first name etc. Should we be investigating Ajmal Kasab the same way? Call Hans Landa to Mumbai please.
• The way Landa talks of the "negro" projectionist - the intent was double edged. Racist remarks and cutting down on folks who could be potential threats.
• "I have something else to ask you." Landa asks Shoshanna. QT - you got the formula man. You got the way to take the audience for a roller coaster ride.
• The expression Shoshanna gives after Landa leaves the table. Anguish/Terror/Relief all mixed into one. Melanie, you get my vote for this single expression.

Verdict: The crux of the movie is in this chapter. Very well handled. Though full of conversations, it had this mysterious nuances of what is going to come next. No, i wont tell what happens in this chapter. Rather the story of the movie.

Chapter Four

Haha, Mike Myers. You would have gone unnoticed if you were not mentioned in the titles. This chapter had some good moments, some boring, some casual, some predictable. I did not like this chapter as the rest of the movie.

• First things first. The waitress in the tavern. Hmmmmmmm! Yummy.
• Basterds almost have an upper hand in the tavern throughout the scene. And Scotch spoils it all. Huh, Scotch.
• Most horrific dialog was when they were playing the guess game and the German general tells "Did i land in America and displayed in chains". "Am i the story of Negro in America?" Where did you come up with such a nice sequence QT.
• Next follows a typical "Reservoir Dogs" scene where everyone shoots everyone.
• What follows is Kill Bill by Bridget. QT never ends with surprises.
• Cool headed Brad forcing Bridget to accept going to the premier reinstates QTs love for blood and gore. I am not complaining. After all, it is supposed to be a war movie. ;-)
• Brad mouths a dialog - "Last minute venue change. Thats not very Germatic." I was chuckling on this statement. Is there a word like that? Just like Bangalored.
• Omar is asked to be the 3rd person. He cant speak a freaking word of Italian. Brad tells him "Just keep your fucking mouth shut." Prelude to the funniest scene in the movie.

Verdict: Weakest link. Predictable. Not great intelligent dialogs. Elongates the movie. But needed for filling the gaps as to why Brad ends in the premier and how Land sniffs the conspiracy.

Chapter Five

What was that song from David Bowie doing in this situation? Great song intermixed by brilliant cinematography. But more like a Bollywood "forced" dream song.

• Keenly observe the silly look on Brad's face when Landa meets them in the premiere. It was so funny. A huge LOL moment. And Anonio Margherti & Dominic Decocco. Hahaha, the way they make hand gestures when introduced. Thats hilarious.
• Why did Brad tell "Bon Journo" in the first place. Hahaha, and "Grazie" in the end. Hahaha, too good. Enjoy it by revisiting the scene. Advantages of watching the movie on DVD but miss out on the crowd reactions to the scene in the theater.
• Enough of laughing folks. This roller coaster is more thrilling than the Universal Sudios ones. Next minute, we see the wild side of Landa where he silences the laugh of Bridget. Hmm, spoooooky.
• Now the kickass moment in cinematic history paralleling the suspense or anti-climax of "Usual Suspects" & "6th Sense". No more will i talk anymore. Hans landa and Brad Pitt conversation.
• The "Bingo" moment. Somehow i felt - if ever we need "Joker" to reappear in Batman after Heath Ledger's untimely death - Nolan brothers, please review this scene. Please.
• The kicks Adolf gets watching the movie says it all.
• What follows - An alternate view of history. 3 cheers to QT. I have no qualms for these kind of alterations. QT is not making a documentary. Its pure fiction.

End Credits.

Verdict: I am going to watch it again and again.

Thanks QT

European Splendor or Blunder

It all started in Feb,2008. After 4 years of no vacation due to various unavoidable circumstances, we finally decided to go off on a Europe discovery. Just like Bride’s parents select the best groom, me and Rekha started off researching in the market for the best tour operator. One glitch was we both had varied tastes. While I loved beaches, hot weather and what comes with hot weather ;-) – Rekha loved cold climates, snow and mountains. So instead of the usual one week vacation to one place ( my preference of a real vacation) it ended up in 19 days of tour. (Please read carefully – it is NOT a vacation). We researched different tour operators in India and finalized on Cox & Kings, Kesari and SOTC. Cox & Kings won the race just for the fact that they were showing us Berlin & Prague. I was always intrigued my Hitler (fellow Taurean). So finally we booked our tickets through Cox & Kings.

The DAY arrived faster than I could imagine. I have gone on many trips before in my life but this one was different as I did not have to research anything on the Hotels, Maps, Directions, Places etc. All I had to do was sign a cheque. I was very apprehensive of 2 things in the beginning of the trip.

1) Flying from Mumbai

2) Not finding suitable company in the trip (read old and boring folks)

We were booked on Turkish airlines from Mumbai. Our first destination was Berlin. I had flown before in bad airlines like Gulf, Saudi before but this airline takes the cake. I was met with non smiling, serious looking air hostess. I thought this might be the case of Turkish culture. But horrors continued when they served me food in the Mumbai-Istanbul flight. I just swallowed it but Rekha could not eat a morsel. Felt sorry for her. As usual, flight was delayed by 90 minutes in Mumbai itself. Istanbul aerial view was awesome. I mean it was so densely populated and different landscape than my expectation. Airport was spick and span but the whole airport was like a smoking zone. Havent u heard of Turkish tobacco? People were smoking like chimneys. Was scared where my age old habit would kick in. Thanks to Rekha’s ever roving eye – I satisfied myself with passive smoking. I could see lots of Indians with the ugly Cox & Kings bag but I was not sure if these folks were in our trip. Did not dare to strike a conversation. Rekha enjoyed eating out in the McDonalds in the airport. We did some window shopping in the duty free shops there. Flight from Istanbul to Berlin was better off. Was a short flight and got good seats and also good food. Flight was delayed again and reached early afternoon. I was the first one out and the immigration officer had lots of questions to ask me and I explained to him that I was part of a big troupe of folks coming for a trip and he gladly stamped the passport. Out I came and there was this huge man holding Cox & Kings board. Introduction: Mr.Noshir Wadia. He will be the Tour Manager for the rest of the trip. Slowly one by one, co-passengers for the rest of the trip stepped out. The first thing I noticed and was extremely happy was that all the people who were stepping out were not old. Infact, it was a mixture of kids, mid age and old folks. I sighed a huge sigh of relief.

It was pretty warm in Berlin and we followed the guide to a coach which was waiting and it was a huge bus. Dumped the entire luggage and checked in to the hotel. (Holiday Inn Express). Sat on seats 23-24. I am emphasizing on these seats because for the rest of the tour, these seats became my permanent seats. After a quick wash and rest, we came down to go into the city for a nice dinner. First folks I talked with were the Salem Dudes. Mr.Madhukar/Kirthika & Mr.Murugan/Yamini. These folks were of my age and I could link with them immediately. Dinner was in a local Indian restaurant and it was ok. Wadia had this standard dialogue at the end of the day. He would explain the next days proceedings including the wakeup call time ad breakfast time. It was usually 6/7/8. Went back to the hotel and due to bad travel, both of us were pretty tired and slept off immediately.

Berlin:

I was hyper excited in the morning not because it was the first day of the trip. It was because I was going to walk the same roads Hitler walked. I am not a neo Nazi or sympathizer but I am in awe of this dude. And also, was waiting to see 2 places eagerly. Berlin Wall & Holocaust memorial. C & K had organized a local guide to take us through the city. The format of this tour was we would have a local guide talk us through various tourist spots and wherever there were good spots, they would make a stop and give us around 30 minutes to take picture and explore the place. When the wall broke, someone with foresight maintained pieces of the wall and displayed it. It was quite exhilarating to see the wall and touch it. I could feel the tension at Charlie’s check point where people could move from West Germany to East Germany and vice versa. But when I visited the Holocaust, it was really horrifying. It really had this eerie feel around it. I did not feel good about this place at all. Well, humans and their greed for power. The whole day went off in a jiffy and we traveled to Prague. During the journey, we had introductions of the whole group. Each member of the family introduced the families. I could remember couple of folks names itself as there were too many people.Finally in the night I slept like a baby in Prague

Prague

Next day early morning, Prague site seeing. Prague reminds a lot of the Communist rule. Czech is not as rich as other countries and we could see that directly in the cars operating here. From BMWs, Mercedes & VW in Berlin to Skoda’s in Prague. This city is also known as Praha in local language. We were again met by our guide “Maria” and today was a walking tour. Its really nice to walk around than in the bus as it gives us a personal touch to the whole thing. Prague had really nice castles, churches and of course nice river. Folks in the group were slowly gelling with each other now exchanging tit bits of information among themselves. People were busy clicking photos and videos also. The centre of attraction in Prague was a central square where there is a clock and every hour a small door opens and Jesus and his disciples come out of the hole. So we were there on time and it was an ok site to see. Walk in Prague was good with its cobbled stones and lovely river. We drove in the late afternoon to Salzburg in Austria. Best thing in the tour was a DVD player in the bus with Hindi movies. We were watching RACE movie in the bus while driving and the drive of 4 hours didn’t hurt the mind.

Salzburg

Next stop, Salzburg more famous for Mozart and Sound Of Music movie. Climate was overcast and by the time we got down for the guided tour, it was drizzling. Rekha had an umbrella and it was nice walk in the rain. Folks who did not have an umbrella were buying umbrellas like there was no tomorrow. As soon as they purchased the umbrellas, rain gods smiled on them and stopped raining. So continued the uninterrupted guided tour. The guide showed us places where Sound Of Music was shot and it was nice to relive those moments as “Sound Of Music” is one of my favorite movie. After lunch we hit the road again to reach Wattens (Swaroski Crystal Museum).

Wattens – Swaroski

Winding through picturesque locations was an exhilarating experience. Austria is a picture perfect place with its green surroundings and snow capped mountains. As usual some movie was running but I was listening to my IPOD. Listening to romantic songs in this romantic surroundings and Rekha leaning on my shoulder and sleeping….hmmm, what more can you expect. ;-) Finally we reached Swaroski museum. I hated to come inside because I hate jewels. But had to comply with Madam. So went in like a zombie and I was quite close with the Goverdhan family by then. Especially the kids Gomanth and Hemanth. So all pictures where me and Rekha are together are courtesy Gomanth. Thanks buddy! After some crystal shopping, we reached Innsbruck. Hotel was good and so far so good. Places were good. Bus was good. Food was ok and was getting repetitive.

Innsbruck

Innsbruck did not have any famous stuff. It was more of a stopover for the night. We did some sight seeing and the advantage we had in this whole trip was that the sunset was around 9:30 PM and that left us lots of time for sight seeing. There was a building like a cake building and there was a nice river. We had a nice river walk and felt really refreshed after that and of course hungry. Was expecting a gala dinner tonight with disco dance etc but was cancelled. Instead we landed up in a drama queen restaurant. The hostess was so much over the top that I wanted to refer her to Balaji Telefilms for a major role. Anyways, now we were posing for group pics and total bonding between the people was formed. Whew, all my fears of bad company vanished in to thin air. Went to bed early because the next day was a long journey. We were entering Italy. My dream holiday spot. Here is come. Viva La Italia.

Venice

5 hour Bus drive. Had to think of something different other than the same old boring movie. So played the ice breaker game with the rest of the gang. Introductions and few words of each member. Had some funny, tragic, comic and awesome introductions. Mangoes with Manju. Post lunch, we reached Venice. It was pretty hot and crowded. Venice is known more for its water canals and boats. So we had lunch on top of a small cruise ship. It was a different experience. Then we stepped in Venice and were greeted by hoards and hoards of tourists. Eager ones just like us. No guided tour. Very bad of C & K. Without a guide – a place looses its charm. Anyways, had to be content with the introductions of Wadia which was more of a read from a book than real intro. All Wadia was interested in was timings and NO guidance. We went to a Murano glass factory. This was more of a C & K dealing than a tourist visit spot. I had heard of Venice as a romantic spot and it didn’t look like with people bursting at every corner of the street. And Italians don’t speak English. We took the world famous GONDOLA ride. As Venice is full of canals, people use gondola’s to travel across the city. The canals were stinking a bit and it was least romantic. I termed the ride as “Gutter mein Gupshup”. Then we visited the Piazza San Marco. Really nice square and was one hell of a “Cleavage Carnival”. J Was pretty hot and finally had my first Heineken. Was really good. Bought a Italia t-shirt. Was so excited, stripped off my shirt in the Piazza square and put on the t-shirt. Looked good on me. (Self appreciation). Well, Venice – dreams shattered.

Pisa

Next day was visit to Pisa. We had packed lunch today. Yucky lunch. But the interest to see Pisa was more than interest towards eating. Wonder Of The World. Yes, it was worth the wait. The tilt and the church in front of it made a real nice picture. Due to time constraints, we could not go to the top of the Pisa. Leaning Tower of Pisa was a good visit. Cherished memories. Fun was shopping in that place where a bunch of Africans come near u and try to sell u stuff. If we try to bargain (of course we do – we should), they directly tell – Indians No Money and walk off. No use of arguing with those folks.

Florence

Florence was a typical Italian town with beautiful churches, architectural marvels but C & K believes in showing stuff from outside and without guide. Saw the Duomo which is the 4^th largest cathedral in the world. Mrs.Muckra was wild because time was not allocated to visit the cathedral from inside. There was this square where artists were busy drawing portraits of people and they were doing a good job of it and they looked every inch authentic. Rekha & Nidhi were little inclined to get the portraits done but waited for Paris where better artists live. Hmm, I thought Italy was a haven for artists. There was a “Gate Of Paradise” which is like Gateway to heaven. It is made of Bronze. Another walking tour and walk on the river edge. It was hot and I was loving every inch of the walk. (Hey, I walk almost 4 KM everyday and so no problems in these walking tours)

Rome

As they say Rome was not built in a day, same thing applies to tourists. “Rome Should Not be seen in a Day”. That’s why I call this tour as European Blunder. Anyways, treat this tour as Birds eye tour and then comeback and view in detail the places you saw in this tour. (Duh!) First thing to visit was Trevi Fountain. I was expecting a small fountain which had caught on the Marketing machine and became world famous. The legend says, if you throw a coin in this fountain, you will come back to Rome. I don’t believe in these sayings but just for the heck of it threw some coins as the coins collected will be given to Red Cross. Some 25 years back, my dad had thrown coins in this fountain but he never came here. But I came here. So, I was throwing it for my son Aryan. Buddy, you better come here. ;-) Rome was magnificent. With its impending architecture and buildings, what amazes everyone is – how did they build all these structures so many years back when our corporation guys can’t even build a Flyover quickly.

Then came the Circus Maximus. This is the place where horse races were held. Horse races which were shown in BENHUR. They needed huge grounds with at least one mile track. This was a nice site to visit. Next in line was another Wonder Of The World which is “Colosseum”. After seeing Gladiator movie, it built the anticipation in my mind and the monument lived up to my expectation. What a mind blowing building. I like these Roman dudes of the erstwhile centuries. Feeling Bored, let’s have a fight between human and animal and enjoy.

Vatican

Enter the Worlds Smallest city and one of the most beautiful city. It’s a country inside Italy. Its really small and the centre of Christianity. This is where POPE lives and Roman Catholics centre. Here lies the “St.Peters Basilica” which is the biggest church in the world. The church inside was really nice and the dome was amazing. After having read “Angels & Demons” by Dan Brown – this whole place looked so familiar. Must visit for all people. In 1 square mile, so much of history lies. Whew, left me breathless. While we were inside, saw some cardinals walking across as it was prayer time.

All along the journeys, played games with kids. Dumb Charades, Mirrors, 20 Qs etc. All kids would flock around my seat and had a gala time with them. The horror story which I told of Revathi and Sugandhi was a sure shot hit. Kids still pester me to complete the story. With all kids around, we could spend the tough road journeys in Italy as all the places are 5 ours far. Confession: Boys cheated in the Dumb Charades everytime. We used to mumble out the answer whenever there was a tunnel and rest of the team would guess the answer correctly. Sorry girls. Best Dumb Charade was that of Madhukar doing Shakira Belly dance. I knew the answer but I did not guess it as we all enjoyed seeing Madhukar shake his belly. J

ARRIVEDERCI to Italy. Learnt a new word in Italy. “Uscita” meaning exit. And not to forget the most popular destination in the whole trip. WC

Monte Carlo

Considered to be the playground of the Rich & Famous. The drive to Monte Carlo was the best. I instantly fell in love with this place. What with scenic drives, sun kissed beaches and red tiles buildings, ooooh so lovely. I could not take my eyes off the window through the drive. We were playing but requested the kids to stop it and rather enjoy the drive. Thanks to C & K for taking me to this place. Kesari did not have this place and I would have missed out on this nice city. I will come back to this place for sure. You don’t HAVE to be rich to come to this place. ;-)

We visited the city and went to a casino. As usual Rekha played the roulette and for a change she lost money on this. Maybe European touch. Fun was watching Guptaji gambling. Anyways, surprise waited once we were out of the casino. Out waiting was a RED FERRARI. I ran near it and saw that the Ferrari was for hire to drive across and I did not have my drivers license. For 85 Euros, I could drive a Ferrari for a round in the Monte Carlo F1 Grand Prix circuit. I rued at my fate. But anyways, it was nice to touch the wheel. Infact I saw couple of Ferraris vrooming around. Loved this place. Really loved it. An unsavory incident happened in Monte Carlo. Hemanth became an instant hero when he was attacked by strangers. Anyways, all is well that ends well.

Monaco

This place is adjoining to Monte Carlo and is ruled by a King/Prince. This guy has a lovely palace and has a nice view of the Monte Carlo circuit. Way to go Prince. Rumor was that this Prince was looking out for a Princess which got the eligible girls in the bus excited to drop their resume. Unfortunately, the Prince was holidaying and was not present. We visited the Prince Palace and it was spell binding and majestic. Did not spend much time here in the fear of “Not Eligible Girls” also putting their resumes to the prince. ;-)

Nice

Nothing much to write about Nice. It was more of a drive through the city. Drove through “Promenade Des Anglais” which is like a mile long garden adjoining the road. Folks were very very hungry and we all ended up in NOORI’s restaurant in NICE.Kababs in NICE were excellent. There were other groups as well there and I saw Kannada actress Sudha Rani there and I sent a kid to confirm she was who I thought. She had come with Kesari and she looked pretty too! Did not bother her with introductions as it was her holiday. Nice had a nice Mediterranean Sea coast and lots of nice yachts were parked there.

Salem folks were fed up with the North Indian food and were longing for Dosas. Old folks were tired of travel/walking and were demanding a massage with Maria as masseur. Mr.Kataria suggested C & K should have Massage with Masala Dosa done by Maria. Slept in an OK hotel in NICE.

Cannes

Whoever loves movies must have heard of Cannes. Famous for its film festival which happens every year in May. We were also there in Cannes but one week before the actual fun begins. Went to the theatre where the Cannes film festival is held. Was murmuring inside my heart to myself “Manju, hope you will be here someday.” Nice beach and lovely surroundings. This whole of South France is the best spot for me in this whole trip. Very picturesque and kind of look which you will fall in love with. Visit it without miss.

Switzerland – Mt.Cox & Kings

The mountain owned by C & K. First entry into Swiss. Anticipation. Suspense. Disco Dancing. This place was really night. We reached the place quite late in the evening and when we took the cable car in the twilight, it was amazing. Been to lots of snowy places but never in such serene & calming ride. On top of the mountain, there was just one hotel and hot food and unlimited beer was waiting. (Though the beer sucked big time I must say). Folks gobbled up the hot jalebis and chocolate. It was one helluva dinner. After the eating, Disco dancing started. All people rocked. Who can forget the dance by Zainab and Mrugesha. Girls rocked the dance floor and from the guys side – it was Prateek all the way. And last but not the least – Mr.Gupta doing Big B steps to Don song. Everyone was chilled and rocked at the same time. Good idea by C & K. The descent in the cable car was more thrilling. Dark night, shining stars, cold air and no noise/pollution. This is what holidays should be made of. (Showing the romantic side of myself )

Jungfraujoch

Highest mountain in Europe. Standing tall at 3000+ meters. Took out all my winter wear and the journey was really exciting. 2 trains to change. Second train journey was in a long never ending tunnel. Bad for claustrophobic folks. There on the top, we were met with some really delicious lunch. Not sure if we were really hungry or the soup rocked. Whatever it was, we gobbled it real fast. Then there was an Ice Cave which had some really nice ice carvings in it. We went out into the open. Due to my newly acquired glasses, I could not wear my shades and man, wasn’t it bright there. I hate my spectacles. But anyways, couple of mishaps occurred for our tour folks. Mrs.Dunung was coming down after visiting the peak and she slipped and fell down on her hands and she had a fracture. And Kirthika had some oxygen problem due to high altitude and she had to be administered oxygen immediately. Both of them were back on their feet before it could turn uneventful. 3 cheers to the ladies. Me and my psychological symptoms. Not sure why I was feeling breathless while coming back. No, there was no Aishwarya on the train. J By the time we were back, we realized RAUL family were missing. Sarvesh got late and we had to leave them as the train timing was set. So we decided to go to the next spot which was Trumbblebach falls. This was an amazing falls. The falls cut through rocky mountains and for tourists, Swiss folks have built a stairway which will take one very near to the falls. This is a falls not to be missed where you can not only hear the roar of the falls but actually feel the pulsating sound of the falls. Wow! What a time we had. Night stay in a decent hotel in Engelberg.

Lucerne

The day started pretty badly. When me and Rekha were climbing down to hit the breakfast bar, we were met with a tense Dunung. Overnight, Mrs.Dunung hand pain went from Bad to Worse and he took her to hospital. X-Rays revealed she not only had hairline fracture but she also had twisted bone. Swiss doctors suggested immediate surgery. We were just settling down and advising him when Rekha came and told another shocker news. Mr.Vyas uncle was not feeling good and the whole family decided to go back to India mid way. The whole team was not feeling good as 5 people were going out of the trip midway. But as Health is most important, we bid farewell to both the families. But Dunung said after operation, if his wife is feeling good – he will rejoin the trip. That was some good news.

There was silence in the bus on the drive to Lucerne. We dropped Dunung to the hospital and proceeded to the city tour/shopping in Lucerne. There is a lake and a statute of a crying Lion (which was crying due to loss of lives of few soldiers). Apart from that, there was a bridge also (forgot what its name was). Overall, its an OK place. Folks purchased some Swiss chocolates.

Glacier 3000

I had not read much about this place and with zero expectations got into the cog wheel train again to climb the mountain. All the mountains were giving a beautiful view. Except, there was an awesome surprise for all of us. There was ALPINE COASTER. Trust me, it is one of the most scenic rides you will ever go. Imagine going in a roller coaster which you can control in midst of lovely mountains. Words cant really explain this. I would rate this ride as one of my most favorite rides. Screaming ahead, all of us had fun. Most of the folks went on for second round of snow fun. Then we had to take a ride to go to the Snow Bus. Best thing was, there is a flat surface where they drive us around in a Snow Bus. Nice experience in terms of the sights. This place is suited for Cross Country skiing.

Gstaad

After spending 2 nights in Engelberg, we went on to Gstaad. (Not sure if G is silent in the word). Very scenic place and houses looked like Cuckoo clocks. Really nice location for a hotel. Murugan had a nice time talking to the store keeper who went out of the way to explain 3 + 3 = 6. Good laughs.

Mount Chamonix

We enter France again. This time to visit Chamonix/Mont Blanc. Another one of the specials from C & K. It’s a nice mountain which is on the tip of Swiss/Italy & France. Same train ride and mountain view. But the best thing was, it wasn’t cold at all. Pretty warm up the mountain. Nothing much to do on the top. There was a Crystal Museum and Stuffed animal museum. Other than that, it was scenic beauty all along. Infact I was getting bored with the Mountain views. I don’t think I can do 7 days in Swiss. Warning to all Honeymooners. (no, if its on a Honeymoon, I think u can do it) Since the tour was nearing an end and we were close friends with most of the families, we decided to take pictures with all of the families. It was a picture session and I was in my favorite SUISSE + t-shirt. In the evening, we were given a coupon to visit a casino with offer of a free drink. We and Goverdhans went there to be rudely shocked when they said ONLY non-alcoholic drinks. Another 250 years special of C & K. Anyways, we were building the appetite for the Gala Dinner tonight. Lots of ragging and rubbing in the dinner with our C & K brethren. We went around the small city so many times that maybe the localites themselves would not have gone around so many times or known so many streets.

Geneva

Next day was a leisure day till noon. Lazed around in the bed, went to a small market for shopping. Had lunch and got ready to go to Geneva. Geneva is a nice city with worlds tallest fountain. (These guys make anything and attract tourists.) Water looked more like gushing out of a broken water pipe than a planned water fountain. Jokes apart and respect to the Swiss ( I LOVE SWISS CHOCOLATES) – we ended up in the railway station to catch the Superfast TGV train from Geneva to Paris. Train’s top speed is 300 KMPH. Train started exactly @ 4:14 PM. What precision man. I liked that. I love people who are stickler for time. We had a packed dinner and when I opened my dinner ka dabba, alu bhajiya smell kicked the 2 french folks who were sitting next to me. Jai HIND!

Paris

I had least expectation from Paris due to wrong information about French folks. From railway station, we were directly going to Eiffel tower. (One more Wonders Of the World) Eiffel tower stood on the river side of River Seine and it looked different due to a new layer of color coating. We went to the top most layer on Eiffel tower and the view was breathtaking. It was fun waiting for 2 hours to reach the top and spending only 20 minutes. Luckily Edris and Zainab were there for company along with us as Mrs.Porbandarwala was tired of walking at 300 KM/Hr. ;-) In the queue, we met some touts selling Eiffel tower. At 8 PM, it was costing 3 euros for 1 key chain. At the end, when it was midnight, they were giving it away for 6 chains for a euro. Can anyone explain to me French Economics?

Disneyland

Though this was my 3^rd different Disney park (after Orlando and LA) – I was still feeling like a kid. After some long delay in the ticket queue , we were let into the park. I went to the new Indiana Jones ride and man, though it lasted for 30 seconds it was great fun. Don’t know what all happened to my body coz most of the time, I was screaming. Disneyland was the same. Nothing new. But still exciting. How can that be? Kataria uncle and Guptaji were lost and we had to leave them behind as we were getting late for the next program. They were mighty pissed of that. Let me not rekindle those memories.

Seine River Cruise

One of the most romantic cruises a person can go on. But not with 1000 other people out of which 35 are desis. ;-) So if you plan on enjoying the romantic fervor of Paris, please go alone. I mean not alone as in alone but with your spouse. We get onto a cruise boat and go through the river glancing at various monuments and bridges. Some of interesting tit bits are “Lovers Bridge” – where lovers come in the evenings to confess or propose to the loved ones. There were scores of people on top of the bridge. Sad part was there were GUYS proposing to each other. No wonder global warming. ;-)

Another bridge was there. If you pass underneath the bridge and kiss your beloved one, and make a wish – your wish will come true. Cool isn’t it. I did make the wish and kissed my beloved one. Waiting to see if my wish turns true. But I feel its just a gimmick to force people to kiss each other. After 1 hour of going on the boat, the cruise finally ended and everyone was spell bounded. I was the most I think. I fell in love with Paris. City was neat, romantic to the core and very beautiful with lots of history in it.

Lido Show – Bonheur

The excitement continued. We had a show at 11:30 in the night. Lido Bonheur is a cabaret show and all the kids who I thought would have slept by now were wide awake. There was a long queue and I think we were the only group which had kids. I have been to many different shows – Good and the Bad. Nothing comes near to what I saw. 90 minutes of pure magic. I wish I could see this show again sometime later when new actresses come. Saw all the actresses from such a near distance that its boring to see them again. (U know what I mean) Courtesy C & K, we were given the front row seats. I mean THE front row. It was worse than Cheap stall in movie theatres. Don’t know why they gave us these stupid seats. I could feel the breath of the actors/actresses on my head. We were so near. It was kind of embarrassing to sit with kids and watch topless women and semi nude guys jiggling on the stage. Well, no complaints. Next time, leave your kids at home.

No Photos as Cameras not allowed. But trust me, 3^rd girl from left will give Katrina Kaif run for money.

Paris Tour

Whew, guided tour at last of Paris. We went through Louvre museum (where Mono Lisa lives), Arc De Triomphe (my fav spot) , napoleon grave, Grevin Wax Museum, Montprannase towe which give a 360 view of Paris, Galerries Lafayette (biggest shop in Europe) etc. All in all, very fulfilling journey in France.

Brussels,Belgium

From France, we left for Brussels. Tiring journey and the whole bus was sleepy. Reason being previous night LIDO show. Belgium did not have much to see except the Mannequin Piss. Legend says a King lost his son when he was a kid and he announce a huge award for a person who finds the kid. Kid was found in the street nude and pissing and hence the statute was created. Quite fun. Folks munched a lot on Belgian Waffle with Choco, Cream, Strawberry topping. And of course, Belgian choco shopping. Night stay in Belgium.

Amsterdam – home of Heineken my fav Beer

Drive from Brussels to Amsterdam was easy. Amsterdam is another nice city. It is a reclaimed city meaning Sea was dried and city was built. Just like Madiwala in Bangalore. ;-) Except we have made a messy job here. We went in a canal cruise in Amsterdam. It was good. Amsterdam has more canals than Venice. But I think they are low on marketing. Anyways, water was cleaner also.

Keukenhof Flower Garden

The famous garden. Silsila for Hindi fans. Anniyan for tamil fans. Girls/Women were all excited to visit this. Wadia was extra careful explaining the exits this time after the Paris fiasco. Tulips and flowers greeted us. Made good pictures but I did not take pics of mine. I don’t like flowers so much to pose in front of them. But my lady wanted pics and I was clicking away to glory.

From the garden , we directly went to Hook Of Holland which is the port. From here, we were supposed to catch the Ship cruise to London. Huge ship but a small cabin. There was a bunker bed just similar to the one which they show in Titanic. As usual, I had to take the top one. Dinner was good. For confirmation ask the salem ladies. ;-) Sitting in the ship , then it stuck me that I was almost near to the end of the tour. I remembered my office and my boss here for the first time. Ouch, that was not a good feeling. Reached London early in the morning.

London

London began with a Guided tour by a tough English speaking women feminist. We started off with visit to the Tower of London. People always confuse the tower to London Bridge. The climate was as usual gray. I hate London climate and also London traffic and London streets. But anyways, this made for a nice picture.

Then we ended up in Buckingham palace. What a site. Change of Gaurds and Queens Palace. Palace stinked of royalty.

Piccadilly Circus and Big Ben – we just whizzed past these places and took a photo stop. Afternoon we were let off in Oxford street where we went shopping for Aryan. It was a good shopping experience.

London Day 2

Day started off with rain drizzling and luckily all the places in the first half was indoors. We visited the Swami Narayan temple. Awesome marbel carvings inside but the gods inside were different than ones I am used to. Demi Gods were given more importance than the real ones. But who cares. The marbel and wooden carvings were magnificent. A good place to spend peaceful morning.

Next was Madam Tussauds. World famous Wax museum. Met my dream stars Spielberg and Hitler. Took pics with them. Good for 2 hours of time pass. Visited the famous Kohinoor Diamond museum. Not interested in Diamonds as Diamonds are womens best friend only. Later in the afternoon, we went to LONDON eye which was a huge giant wheel which showed London like a birds eye view. But when we went up, most of London skyline was marred by big cranes which spoilt the view. But could see Lords Cricket ground, Big Ben and all other stuff in there. Had a quick dinner and came back home. Few folks were staying back and bid bye to them. Also bid farewell to CALLE – our coach driver. He was a magnificent driver – always on time and driving to perfection. We celebrated 25 years of his driving in the bus. Thanks CALLE to make this trip unforgettable.

Final Day

Woke up early and left the hotel to reach London airport. Spent time there shopping for chocolates, Chivas Regal for FIL. Boarded Turkish Airlines which was with personalized entertainment system which made the journey really comfy and finally after one more stopover in Istanbul and Mumbai landed in Bangalore.

Cast

1. Mr. & Mrs. Dunung – Made For Each Other (They made a real nice couple)
2. Gupta & Family – Angry Young Man (Big B) and known for the famous dialogue “Mere Bachhe Bhooke aur Pyaase the”
3. Mr & Mrs Rajani – Golden Couple (almost nearing 50 years of marriage)
4. Mr & Mrs Kalro - Youngest Grandparents
5. Mr & Mrs Doctor – Prateeeeeeeeeeeeeeek
6. Porbandar Family - Live life King Size (Loved the way they ate lunch and dinner ;-)
7. Mr & Mrs Vyas – Globe Trotters family
8. Miss Nidhi – DD (Deadly Dentist)
9. Mr & Mrs Madhukar – Dancing Duo (Belly Dance and Fusion Dance specialists)
10. Mr & Mrs Murugan – Funny Fundas (Murugan was a well proven comedian but the first week, never heard Yamini’s voice. Later on in the tour, she formed a perfect foil to him. They should start a comedy show)
11. Goverdhan family – Shopaholics (Uncle – Alcohol, Aunty – Mementos, Hemanth – Coke, Gomanth – Bike Pics)
12. Advocate Basavaraj – Forced Bachelor
13. Mr & Mrs Kataria – Masala Dosa Massage
14. Mr & Mrs Muckra - Communal Harmony
15. Raul Family – Different Strokes (each member of the family is unique and different.)

Enterprising Day OUT

[Intro: This skit is purely FICTIONAL and any resemblance to any characters or situations in REAL life is NOT coincidental. This should NOT have any bearing on the ePM of all the people who wrote this, enacted this, saw this, laughed at it or hated it.]

[SADI makes announcement.]

[Background MP3 song; Sholay: Yeh Dosti, hum nahin chodenge….] – SADI Collects MP3.

2 guys, arms on each others shoulders enter dancing and come to a stop.

MBG – Madhu

AM - Manju

MBG: “ Hey Chote Miyaan. How are things? How is it going in Bangalore?”

AM: “ Very Good Bade Miyaan! Not bad at all. Ek cheez mujhe tang kar rahi hai.”

MBG: “Well you know. Lets understand Cisco is all about OPEN communication. Please Go ahead. Speak it out.”

AM:”Yeah right. True. I can sense our team is too much stressed out and we should all go out for an outing. What do you think Bade Miyaan?”

MBG” You know Chote Miyaan, that is a VERY good idea. Let us implement it.Please go ahead and send out a BINGO survey to the team to know who are all interested and who are interested to come on weekends”

AM: “ Yeah, I will do that Bade Miyaan. Chalo, have fun! Bye”

MBG: “Cheers Man. BBye.

[Karuna Bansal]

AM-Chote Miyaan looks at his watch. 11:30 AM. He walks over to Miss Pity’s cube. She is still not there. Murmuring to himself

“ Where is Miss Pity. Its 11:30 and she is still not in the office. I have to give her some work on the team day outing. Let me give her a call.”

He picks up the phone and Miss Pity picks up the phone.

AM:”Hello Miss Pity. Wakey Wakey! Its mid morning already.”

Miss Pity stifling a yawn, “Oh, yeah. I was in this migration. It kept me awake all night. Yeah manager, what is it?”

AM: “I want you to send a survey out to the team on team outing and I have sent an email with the questions.Just create a BINGO who is interested to come for the Outing and also on the weekend.”

Miss Pity:”Okay!” (In typical Karuna ishtyle)

Miss Pity Sends out a survey to the team and has the results ready!

Miss Pity” I sent the survey Manager. It looks like DCN team is 100% COMPLIANT. ONM is 62% only. Also, ONM team doesn’t want to come on weekends.”

AM:” What is this with the DCN team yaar! They are always 100% compliant even for time sheets and now for even this. Why isn’t ONM team like this?”

Miss Pity:” Manager, DCN team has hired 2 project managers who overlook the Compliance part. We should also have Project Managers in ONM.”

AM:”Theek Hai – Theek Hai. Anyways, prepare a presentation which says TEAM outing is Mandatory for the whole team and no questions of weekdays only.”

Miss Pity: “ But Manager, why did we send out a survey to the team to check if they were available on weekend if it was a forgone conclusion.”

AM: Giving a Big GRIN. Miss Pity also smiles off and walks out.

[Rajesh Kalapurakkal]

CM & BM again.[Sadi makes the announcement]

MBG:” manager, there is this guy in the team MENTOS. What is he doing man? SCE or something like that.”

AM:”Oh that guy BM. Yeah, he is very silent and keeps working. Not sure what he is working on.”

MBG:”Manager, We should check with our BIG BROTHER if we really support the stuff on what he is doing?”

AM:”Yeah.But Manager his Realization numbers are good. Why fix on something which is not broken. Let him continue doing what he is doing. That’s what I learnt in my business school.”

MBG:”But you know MENTOS is a Fantastic mentor. All the “freshers” love him. There are 2 more freshers coming this July to the team. We should notify MENTOS.”

AM:”There he is.Mr.Mentos, can you please come over?”

Mentos:”Hello.”

AM:”there are 2 new joinees coming in July. Please come to office daily as you would have to mentor them.”

Mentos:” Ok. I am traveling a lot now a days. When I am in the country, I will come but I cannot stay back after 5 BM. I am newly married you know.”

AM: “Newly Married? I thought you were married long time back?”

Mentos: “Yes but we are still new. ;-) If you want, I have a nice solution. I will use telepresence to mentor the new hires after 5 PM.”

AM: “Brilliant. GSP is all about SOLUTIONS.Thanks”.

AM: “Yeah yeah, no problem. No problem.”

Chote Miyaan has an important announcement to make - SADI

[Madhukar]

AM:”Team, myself and Manager are going to Dubai to meet with rest of the ONM team. So we will not be available for 2 weeks. In our absence, please talk to mdada (Madhu Kar).Ok Bye.”

From now on Mdada takes over as the acting manager. - SADIs

Mdada is busy working on multiple things. Shahenshah work (LCS, night shift, Jaagte Raho – sun saan song), AINA work, SmS work. (Jodhaa Akbar song)

Phone rings. Mdada picks up the phone.

Mr.Mdada” Hello, JaagteRaho Services. How can I help you?”

Anthony:”Hello Mdada. This is Anthony here.How are you? I have a project for you in ISC. Just wanted to check if you folks can service it?”

Mdada: “Yeh Anthony Kaun Hai”

Mdada:” ISC? Do you want to integrate it with AINA or you want ISC to sit on top of AINA.”

Anthony (confused):” No, I am not talking about INNA shalin. I am talking about ISC product.”

Mdada:”yeah, I know Inna Shalin. She was the one who gave us AINA training.”

Anthony:”Ok, when can we expect the resource?”

Mdada:” Anthony, you will have to fill up JIRA. Then if it qualifies as an SmS opportunity, then you will have to send a SMS to my phone.If the SMS is between 3 AM to 5 AM, my mom will answer. I was part of quality initiative. We have to follow processes right.”

Anthony” That’s cool. We in the global practice don’t have any process. You guys are way ahead of us. Really nice working with you folks.”

[Suresh Chaurasiya] - SADI

Song plays “Mumbai se aaya mera dost, dost ko salaam karo.” Sadi gets the MP3.

Mr.Solution” Hello Mr.Mdada. I am Mr.Solution from Mumbai.”

Mdada:”Hey Solution. How are you doing man? Nice meeting you.”

Mr.Solution”After doing Jaagte Raho Services for 3 years, I am little tired Mdada. I want to change my profile. I want to work on solutions.”

Mdada:” Hey Solution, work on it for couple of more years man. Then when you gain sufficient knowledge you will grow up the value chain automatically.”

Mr.Solution: “No Mdada. Every thing is fine except for the night shift.”

Mdada:” See I am requesting you now. If you don’t listen, I will call Raj Thackeray and ask him to talk to you. Jai Maharashtra!”

[Saurabh Dawra] - Manju

Mr.Quality Champ: “ Hello Mdada. Its me Quality Champ again in Bangalore”.

Mr.Mdada:” Man, you were here just last week. You are here again so soon. That’s a lot of travel.”

Mr.Quality chuckling” Huh! I think I am the most traveled guy in this team. But man, traveling in this company is boring man. In Ericsson , we were traveling in Business class”

Mr.Mdada “Hmmmmm!”

Quality Champ:” Also, I saw this mail from Miss Pity on team outing. Why are we having it in Bangalore man. In Ericsson we used to have in Thailand or Bangladesh.”

Mr.Mdada” Hmmmmmm!”

Quality Champ:” Also, in my Cisco Delhi office, the coffee is so bad. I stopped drinking it. In Ericsson, we used to get excellent coffee served at the desk.”

Mr.Mdada” Hmmmmm. Mr.Quality Champ. First thing is – you no longer work for Ericsson and also, you were supposed to relocate to Bangalore right? When are you relocating?”

Quality Champ walking off singing this song in OSO style:” Dil Me mere hai Cisco Cisco. I love Cisco. I love Cisco.”

[Dharmesh Shah] - SADI

TE: “ Hello Friends, Romans and Countrymen. I am Mr.Traffic Engineer.”

Mdada:” Hey hello. Long time no see. How are you?”

TE:” I was busy talking to VSNL folks , opening BUGS and the DEs.”

Mdada” Very good! You are doing a great job.”

TE:” Thanks. Lets go for coffee?”

Mdada:”Lets go”.

Mdada sits and starts drinking coffee. TE doesn’t sit.

Mdada: “Sit down man. Sit and drink coffee”

TE:”No man, I cant sit. I sit only in the morning.I cant sit for long time. I don’t like to sit. Infact, when I was flying down from Mumbai, I stood in the plane as well. In fact, I was just thinking , they should have a standing zone in the airplane. And probably price should be half that of Economy. Isnt it a good idea? I should post it in Wiki page productivity charter for our Big Brother”

Mdada: “ Brilliant idea TE. You should patent it. Doesn’t your MBO have a patent idea to be filed clause? I think you should do it.”

[Aditya Gupta]

Mdada:” Hello Mr.Meeting Place. How are you? You are awesome man. You organize stuff so nicely. Big credit to you. Good job. At this rate, you will replace all the managers in GSP.Why aren’t you working on more and more technical projects man. Go out and travel. This is your age!”

Meeting Place:”Thanks Mdada. I love to do that. But I am scared of travel man.”

Mdada:” Scared of travel. Hahaha, that’s a funny thing. You are an NCE. You should be ready to travel anyday anytime. Airsickness?”

Meeting place: “ No, nothing of that sort. I am scared of the iExpense folks. All my claims are rejected by them. Even my dinner bills are getting rejected. The only way to escape from this is NOT to TRAVEL. And I love SmS. So its ok for now.”

Mdada: “ Don’t worry man. Once Synergy comes, all our troubles will be gone. Trust me.”

Meeting Place:” How?”

Mdada:” Even I don’t know man. Everyone talks about it here and so do i.”

Scene shifts to Dubai.

[DON & Senthil]DON old MP3 song – Are Deewano

Manju & SADI

Gangster:” Hey Mr.Tension. I heard BM & CM are coming to visit us.”

Mr.Tension:”Hey Gangster. I am all tensed man about them coming.”

Gangster: “ Lets take them Asha’s restaurant in Dubai and show them around.”

Tension: “ you know, I feel so tensed in front of them. I don’t know if I can eat properly.”

Gangster:” Why are you so tensed man. You are excelling in your work. You are giving 127% realization.”

Tension:” That is the problem. I am tensed. Now with this excellent work, they will ask me to go to Azerbaijan. I don’t want to go there man. Heard its more dangerous than Nigeria. Dictators and all. I will try to escape but they will catch you to do that project if I say no. Is it ok.”

Gangster: “hahahaha. They cant catch me man.”

Tension:” Why ? “

Gangster” Don ko pakadana Mushkil hi nahin, na mumkeen hai.”

[Song playing of the new DON]

Senthil asks Madhu: Y r u playing this new song?”

BM & CM have come back from Dubai! Its back to SA.CM is trying to contact his new HERO who is in Venezuela.

[Aditya S] - Manju

CM:” hey Wiki. How are you man?”

Wiki:”I am doing good. How are you?”

CM:” Where are you wiki?”

Wiki:”Hey, I am in Silicon Valley man. Live, Work and Play. Doing the Cisco tag line full time.”

CM:” You are still in Venezuela?”

Wiki” Si Amigo!”

CM:” But Who is the customer?”

Wiki” Who else? Movilnet. Why all these questions Manager?”

CM: “ Dude, Movilnet project is long over. We have received signoff, CSAT, money also long time back. Wind up and come back ok.”

Wiki:” Oh is it? Oooops, ok – I forgot. I am developing a wiki page for the customer. They loved ONM wiki page so much that they asked me to stay back to develop wiki page for them.”

Manager:” No, you cant do that Wiki. You have to come back.”

Wiki:” I am expecting a Venezuelan cap from them. I will come once I get that. You guys never give me an Indian cap anyways.”

[Madhu M]

Madhu & Manju

Fresher:” HR, my emotions are taking over my work. Not able to work.”

HR: “Why Mr.fresher?”

Fresher:” Coz all you folks call me Fresher. I don’t like being called Fresher. I have completed almost 2 years of my career and people still call me Fresher.”

HR:” Hmmmm. You know what? Fresher is a compliment. When you walk into the team meeting, you are like a whiff of fresh air. When stale folks write the same old LLDs, your LLDs bring freshness to the customer. There is so much of freshness embedded in you that it is natural for the team to tell you fresh. “

Fresher:” Oh yeah, I never thought of that. I am Fresh. Fresh…..”

Fresher walks off in a zombie state murmuring to himself.

HR to himself: “Hahaha, isn’t being HR a fun?”

[Archana Akhaury]

Madhu & Sadi.

MBG gets acknowledgements from all the team to the outing. Except the LADY ANA. He is furious and curious to know the reason.

MBG:” Hello LADY ANA, you know I am your manager speaking. The idea here is to make yourself available for the team outing on March 26^th. It will be good to have everyone.”

LADY ANA:” No Manager, I cant make it that day. My delivery dates are during that time.”

MBG:” What delivery dates?if you remember I sent out a PPT sometime back itself to talk to your Project Managers and inform them that we wont deliver any project during that time. The point is Please tell the Project Manager that you cant deliver the LLD on that day.”

LADY:”But Manager, I am talking of Delivery of my baby and not the LLD.”

MBG:”Oooops., i totally forgot. I am sorry. Yeah you are excused. But you know We will miss you. All the best. Have a nice time with your kid. Its fun watching Kids GROW. Hey, btw – we @ GSP have stopped Growing. I mean, I have asked the team not fill in GROW!”

Cafe Of Dreams - Short Film

Café Of Dreams

[Location: A dimly lit café. Corner of a room. Round table. 2 chairs. ]

Scene 1: The camera is focused on a pair of closed eyes (5 to 10 seconds).Suddenly he opens his eyes. (Talk in his mind going on about his past bickering with some clear words like “Crap”, “No” and more negative words.)

Camera Angle: Straight

Scene 2: One person is sitting on a chair; there is a round table in front of the chair. This setup is in a dark corner of the room. The person rubs his eyes, yawns and speaks to himself ‘Where the hell am I?’ (dialogue coming from his mind – voice over). Expression: Mix of Wonder & Irritated

Then he looks on the table and sees something and picks that thing up. It’s a Menu card. (15 to 20 seconds)

Camera Angle: Right Side Under the table 45 Degrees

Scene 3: Camera focuses on the Menu Card on which the name of the movie is printed in Algerian Font – “Café Of Dreams” (Focus it for 4 seconds)

Camera Angle: Right Side Under the table 45 Degrees

Scene 4: The camera will replace the card. He will look at the camera and will pretend that he is reading the screen. He is reading it out loudly

‘Café of dreams!! We only serve full seven course meal!! What a crap’.

Camera Angle: Should be exactly in the place of Menu Card which our main protagonist is reading.

Menu Reads like this:

1. Peace

2. Success

3. Glory

4. Happiness

5. Satisfaction

6. Power

7. Love

A background female voice of the waitress asks “Are You ok Sir?”

Camera first moves focus from the man to the waitress.

He looks up. Camera shifts to waitress face. She gives a courteous smile and repeats the question “Is everything all right sir?”

Camera moves back to the man.

Man says with a puzzled look on his face “ Who are you?”

Camera moves back to the waitress.

The waitress with a normal waitress look replies “I am Desire. Your order is on the way?”

Camera moves back to the man from behind the waitress.

Man: “Order? Have I already ordered?”

Waitress: She nods her head.

Man with Wonder” “What did I Order?”

Camera focuses on her face.

Waitress: “A complete Seven course meal. You ordered LOVE as a starter.”

Man with a quirk smile: “Love? Is it that hypothetical word which doesn’t exist in

reality?”

Waitress: “No. It is the quintessence of your emotions.”

Man still not convinced: “That’s a nice way of putting it. What else did I order?”

Waitress: “ As a main course meal, you have ordered Success, Power & Happiness.”

Man:” Wow! Can Love & Power can co-exist ?”

Waitress: “Yes of course. Love is your Selflessness. And Power is all about taking responsibilities with Selflessness.”

Camera focuses on the whole body of the man.

Man pinches himself sounding more convinced. “Am I dreaming? I never thought of this explanation?”

Waitress says “ You are in the CAFÉ OF DREAMS.”

Man with lots of curiosity asks: “What else did I order?”

Waitress: “You ordered Glory as your drink, Peace & Satisfaction as your dessert.”

Man: “ yeah I always love to Drink Glory . But after all these things, do you think I will have space left for Peace and Satisfaction?’

Waitress: “ At the end , if you don’t have Peace & Satisfaction then all the other things are inconsequential.”

Man with a satisfied look: “ Well, coming to the point. What do I have to pay for all these?”

Focus the camera on the mans face during this dialogue. Also place is getting brighter.

Waitress: “ For Love you have to be Selfless. For Success, you have pay by your hard work. For Power you have to take responsibilities. For Happiness, you have to be happy. For Glory, you have to Sacrifice. For Peace & Satisfaction you have to follow your heart. “

Camera slowly dims focus on the character all along and at the end of the dialogue, it focuses again on the man.

Waitress: “ Our Chef Mr. Ambition will prepare the meal for you Sir.”

White Light.

THE END